Doctor Shepherd Will See You Now
by Nielsen1984
Summary: Grey's/50 Shades AU. When Meredith goes to Seattle Grace for an interview, she had no idea that she would meet the handsome and mysterious Dr. Shepherd. Little does she know what he's really into behind closed doors...MerDer all the way. Rated 'M' as of chapter 4.
1. Chapter I

**AN: The last few months have been rough for me, but I'm back to writing. You may remember a while back that my name was Hellyer1977. I am the same author, but I am now going by Nielsen1984. **

**This story will begin as a "T" rating, but will soon turn to "M".**

**Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

"Hey, get up."

I am suddenly hit in the face with a pillow. I sit up in bed and see my roommate, Izzie Stevens, laughing in the doorway.

"Izzie, really, it's eight in the morning, I was still sleeping!" I exclaim. I give her a slight glare.

"Your face was hilarious. Plus, I was in a good mood."

I throw the pillow back at Izzie and tell her I'm going back to sleep for a bit. I do manage to sleep for about a half hour more, but my body wakes me up before the alarm goes off. The sunlight is streaming in through the one window in the bedroom. I must have forgotten to close the curtains before I went to sleep last night. It is eight AM on this beautiful Monday morning. I stretch my arms above my head and rub my eyes to try and get myself to stay awake. Sleep has not come easily these last few days because the last few weeks of medical school have been very difficult. I gather up my strength to get out of bed. Once my feet are on the ground, I stretch my arms above my head again and then walk over to the mirror to take a look at my hair. Surprisingly, it has stayed quite neat, considering that I slept for eight hours. My brush lies on my nightstand, right next to the alarm clock. I turn off the alarm and run a quick comb through my hair. Izzie has gone back to her room to get ready - I assume - because she is singing quite loudly and I can hear water running. I yawn once more, not wanting to be awake this early. But of course, I have to do something for Izzie, who's been living in this apartment with me for the past year. I am a fourth-year medical student and she is a second year.

Izzie is not a bad person at all. She's quite wonderful. There's just been several times where I have to do something for her because she's unable to do it herself.

My roommate is two years younger than me. I am going to be graduating very soon, and she will be halfway done. Final exams are right around the corner. We have been studying for them for the last three weeks, but I feel like we should be spending more time preparing for them. If we fail them, then we will not have any time to redo the exams.

* * *

I've been getting ready to go out for about a half hour and the last thing I have to do is run another comb through my hair. As I run the brush through my hair again, I become aware of a retching sound. I walk across the hall into the bathroom and find Izzie leaning over the toilet, vomiting. Once she stops throwing up, she flushes the toilet and turns to look at me.

"Hey…" she says in a croaked voice. She looks incredibly pale. Her forehead has sweat on it and she looks like she's dying in those thin pajamas she always wears. "So sorry."

"It's okay," I reply. "You had no idea that you were going to be sick today. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"A pillow and some medicine. I think I'm going to be here for a while. I hope my stomach can stop acting up enough for me to make it to the couch."

Izzie somehow has picked up a bad case of the stomach flu the night before she's supposed to go to a job interview in Seattle. All I know is that this job has something to do with a hospital called Seattle Grace Memorial. Apparently, Izzie has been doing so well in medical school that the hospital has offered her a position in working there. They has a special relationship with our university.

Izzie asks me if I can take her place at the interview. She feels terrible for doing so, but she knows that she's not going to be able to make it. She then vomits into the toilet again. I tell her that I will go instead, even though I don't really want to.

"Thank you so much for doing this," Izzie tells me after I hand her a pillow and the medicine that will help calm her upset stomach. "I would have liked to reschedule this interview, but apparently, it would take several months."

"It's fine," I say.

"I left the papers on the table for you. It includes a resumé and cover letter. Even though I wasn't feeling well, I made sure that they were complete."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Izzie really is one of my closest friends. I am glad that she is my roommate because it has been such an experience getting to know her and she's had my back since her first day of medical school.

* * *

Izzie is nice enough to lend me her vehicle for the drive to the hospital. I think my car wouldn't do too well because it has been in the shop twice in the last month. I decide that I will need to get myself a new car because knowing that my future career will be as a doctor, I cannot have my car breaking down on me while I'm trying to get to work.

I enter through the doors of Seattle Grace Memorial Hospital 20 minutes later. The building has multiple floors as well as many glass windows looking towards the streets of Seattle.

I walk up to the reception area. I'm still holding the papers Izzie typed up for me in a folder. I remind myself that I need to get her a thank-you gift for typing up the papers, even though she was not feeling 100 percent.

"May I help you?" asks a woman from behind the counter once I approach the desk.

"Yes, I'm here to see Mr. Derek Shepherd. Izzie Stevens is indisposed today, so I'm taking her place. Meredith Grey," I reply, holding up my temporary credentials. The woman behind the desk briefly looks at her computer and then turns back to me.

"Mr. Shepherd will be ready shortly. You may take a seat over in the waiting area and someone will come to you when he's ready."

I walk over to the waiting and sit down in one of the comfortable chairs. I pick up one of the magazines and flip through a few pages before I hear my name being called.

"Ms. Grey?" I look up and there's another woman standing in front of me. "Mr. Shepherd is ready to see you now. Take the elevator up to the second floor and his office is the third door on your left. You can just go right in."

The woman hands me a visitor badge. I clip it onto the base of my blouse. I then take a deep breath and start walking towards the elevator. I feel kind of nervous. I wonder what this Mr. Shepherd is like.

* * *

After arriving on the second floor, I find the office I'm looking for and knock on the door.

A voice says, "Come in", and I step inside. But when I do, my ankle suddenly gives out and I fall onto my hands and knees, the papers dropping to the floor. I look up and see that the man is looking over in my direction. I feel somewhat embarrassed.

"Ms. Stevens?" Mr. Shepherd asks, somewhat confused. He offers out his hand to help me stand up after I gather the paperwork and put them back into the folder. "I'm Derek Shepherd. Please, have a seat."

"Um…" I say after standing up. I walk over to a chair in front of his desk and sit down. "Ms. Stevens isn't able to make it because she caught the flu, so I was sent instead."

Mr. Shepherd looks young, from what I can tell. And attractive. He's wearing a blue, no-iron shirt. His pants are black and dressy, and he wears a pair of designer shoes on his feet. I take another deep breath and prepare to speak.

"And you are?" he asks me. As I speak, I cannot take my eyes off the handsome man in front of me.

"I'm Meredith Grey. I'm attending med school with Izzie, excuse me, Ms. Stevens," I reply. I look over in the direction of the windows. "Lovely view you have from up here."

"I agree with you, Ms. Grey."

There is a slight awkward silence that fills the room.

"I'm sorry," I continue. "This is my first real interview as a med student. I'm just a little nervous."

"It's perfectly fine. You may take as much time as you need. Did Ms. Stevens tell you about this interview?"

"Yes. It was for a position as an intern, as well as adding an article to the university's newspaper. I do have some questions for you, Mr. Shepherd."

"Ask away."

"Do you feel powerful knowing that you work for a well-known hospital?"

"I guess you could say I have a bit of power. But I tend to not let it show."

"Outside of your work, what do you like to do?"

"I have several interests, Ms. Grey. Maybe sometime, I'll show them to you."

"Have you ever given up a lot of time with family to be here at your work?"

"I guess? My father died when I was young. My mother is a Navy Nurse."

There is a knock on the door. The woman who had handed me my badge stepped inside.

"Pardon me, I'm sorry for interrupting. You have another meeting in three minutes," she says.

"I'm not done with my current meeting, so you can cancel the next one," Mr. Shepherd replies. After she leaves, he turns back to me. "So, Ms. Grey, where did we leave off? Oh, that's right."

He takes a deep breath before continuing to speak. "What do you plan to do after you finish med school?"

"Find a hospital to work at," I reply. "I've been thinking about my final exams a lot."

"If you want the position until you can find a full or part-time job, it's yours."

I'm a little shocked by what he has just told me. Did he really just offer me the job that was supposed to go to Izzie?

"I'll do a little thinking on it," I continue.

"Just call the front desk when you have your answer. I will get your message. Do you want to see a little bit of the building?"

"I would love to, but I do have to drive back to my apartment, though. And I'm sure you have a lot of other things going on at the hospital."

"No, I actually don't. Today's been a pretty light day. But if you have to get going, then until we meet again, Ms. Grey."

"Thank you for the interview, Mr. Shepherd," I say. "I'll just leave my papers here with you."

"Sounds good."

He extends his hand and I shake it. We don't say goodbye. I walk into the elevator.

"Derek," I say without any introduction.

"Meredith," he replies.

The doors close and I'm going back down to the main floor. My mind is still trying to process what has just happened.


	2. Chapter II

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

As soon as the elevator doors open, it takes me a moment to actually step out of it and onto the main floor of Seattle Grace. My heart is beating faster and I'm trying to take a deep breath to calm myself down.

What in the world just happened? I ask myself. There's something about Derek Shepherd that is affecting me in ways that no other man has done before. Is it his looks? His wealth? His power?

I manage to step outside the building and let the cold air hit my face. I need a change of scenery for a while. I don't want to think about Derek, but I can't stop thinking about him.

* * *

As the hospital disappears from my sight, I head back to the apartment I share with Izzie. We both had moved into this place our second month of grad school and we've loved it ever since. I'm a little upset that Izzie didn't give me any information about Derek. It would have been nice to know a little bit about him before going off to his office for an interview.  
_He's so young! How did he manage to get a position such as an attending?_ My mind is trying to figure that out, but the reasoning is not coming to me.

I think to myself, _Ground, create a sinkhole. Swallow me whole._ I can't keep thinking about Derek Shepherd. _Izzie Stevens, why would you not tell me about him?!_

* * *

When I arrive back at the apartment, Izzie appears to be feeling somewhat better. She is not in the bathroom and her face looks like some color has returned. She's sitting at her desk working on something, which I assume is for finals since she's got books all over the desk.

"Hey, Meredith, you're back! How did it go?" the blonde asks me. "I was a little worried."

"The interview went overtime a little bit," I reply. "Why, Izzie? Just why wouldn't you give me a simple biography of this guy? I had no idea what to think when I walked in there."

"I'm so sorry, I should have."

"It's fine."

I take a deep breath before speaking again. "He's very attractive. And still somewhat young."

"How young is young to you?"

"He's got to be in his mid-30s. How are you feeling?"

"A bit better. At least I'm not having to be near the toilet all the time. I managed to eat a popsicle. That's all I've been able to keep down for the last hour."

"Well, I have to get going. I just remembered that I'm working a three hour shift at The Home Depot today. There's more soup in the mini-fridge if you need it."

* * *

I've been working at this Home Depot since I started attending medical school. I have no idea how I've been able to manage this job on top of school, but somehow, I have. It's given me some good work experience, as well as money to put towards buying my own place. I didn't even have to go for an interview. My current employer had looked at my resumé and cover letter and asked me to practice helping a customer. I got the job that same day.

"Meredith!" says the name of my employer, Joe. "I thought you weren't coming in today. I remember receiving an email from you this morning."

"The other appointment I went to actually took less time than I thought, so I decided to come in. I'm gonna miss working here," I reply.

"We'll miss you too, Meredith."

I had told Joe that after I got my MD degree, I would be leaving my job in order to look for a full-time one.

He tells me to go stock some shelves and I do so. All of a sudden, I hear someone say my name.

"Ms. Grey?"

Oh crap.

I turn around and Derek Shepherd is standing there.

"Mr. Shepherd," I reply. "What brings you buy?"

"I happened to be driving through the area. I need to pick up a few things. Good to see you again, Ms. Grey."

"Meredith. My name is Meredith," I continue. "What may I help you with, Mr. Shepherd?"

"I will need some zip ties."

Immediately, my mind becomes curious as to why he needs zip-ties. My whole body is frozen in place. It's almost as if I've been paralyzed. My legs feel like Jello.

_Stop it, Meredith. You need to treat him like any other customer,_ I think to myself. I force my brain to tell my legs to move.

"They are in aisle six," I stutter.

"After you."

I lead him to the aisle he needs and he grabs a package of the ties.

_Stop looking at him, Meredith!_ I snap at myself. _Yes, he attractive and young. Stop looking. He doesn't want you! How could he want a soon-to-be med school graduate? Who would want someone like me anyway?_

"Do you need anything else, Mr. Shepherd?" I ask.

"Some tape. More specifically, duct tape."

He puts the ties in a shopping basket and follows me to where the tape is. I don't even want to ask why he is buying those things.

"How long have you been working here?" he asks me.

"A few years. I started working shortly after I began my first year of med school," I say. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Some rope."

Now my curiosity is really peaking.

"Are you doing renovations?" I question.

"No, I am not," he replies. He lets out a small laugh.

My subconscious mind is going crazy. Just that little laugh was enough to take my breath away. It was quite sexy.

"What kind of activities do you like to do in your free time?" he asks me.

"I like to read. Classic Literature is my favorite. Emily Brontë's _Wuthering Heights_ is probably my all-time favorite book."

"Don't think I've ever read it."

"Meredith!" shouts another voice.

I look up and there is Owen Hunt, a fellow Home Depot employee and soon-to-be intern at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. He is around the same age as me.

"How are you?" he asks me, pulling me into a hug. "It's been so long! I haven't seen you around a lot."

"I haven't gotten a lot of shifts since I announced my resignation," I say. "I'm leaving next week. I'm going to graduate next week and then it will be time for me to look for a full-time job. Owen, this is Derek Shepherd. Derek, this is Owen Hunt. He's about to be an intern at Northwestern Memorial."

"Wait, the Derek Shepherd? As in the neurosurgeon from Seattle Grace?" Owen questions.

"Yes," was Derek's reply.

The two of them shake hands. "It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard a lot about you. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Actually, Meredith's been helping me. I have everything I need. But thank you anyway."

"You're welcome, Mr. Shepherd. Meredith, I'll see you at graduation."

Owen walks away and I can see that Mr. Shepherd seems a little...jealous?

We walk over to the checkout counter and he pays for his items.

"Meredith?" Derek asks me before he leaves.

"Yes?" I reply.

"I'm glad that you were able to come to the interview and not Izzie."

Derek then walks away with his things.

I'm just standing there, frozen in place. His words have shocked me.

You. Not Izzie.

My feelings for him are growing. I cannot deny them anymore. It had to be a coincidence that he came to the hardware store where I worked...right? I don't know.

I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket. I see Joe coming towards me and I'm hesitating on whether to answer the call.

I quickly grab my phone and answer it, not bothering to look at Caller ID.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Meredith? It's George," replies the voice.

George O'Malley is a friend of mine. He comes by Izzie and I's apartment quite a bit. He's like the brother I had never had. I didn't have any siblings growing up.

"Um, hello. I'm actually in the middle of my shift."

"Okay. Well, I just wanted to let you know that Seattle Grace Memorial offered me a job and I went in for an interview a week ago. I got the job. I was hoping you and Izzie would be free to celebrate on Thursday night."

"I'll check my schedule. Congratulations by the way. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

He says goodbye, and then I end the call. I'm trying to figure the things that have just happened in the past 20 minutes.

But the one thing I know for sure is that I like Derek Shepherd.


	3. Chapter III

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

I place my phone back in my pocket and notice that there is a small piece of paper on the counter. I pick up the paper and look at it. I realize that it is Derek's phone number on his official business card.

Now my mind is going crazy. Why would he leave me his phone number?

_Maybe he likes me,_ I think.

I know for sure that Izzie is going to love this. She's always teased me about my love life. She has great advice when it comes to dating. She's had three boyfriends since she started medical school.

* * *

When I arrive back home from my shift at The Home Depot, I find Izzie sitting on the couch. She's got a blanket around her and I'm wondering if she's suffering from chills. I know that whenever I get a cold - or the flu - my body temperature doesn't stay the same.

"Hey," she says. Her voice doesn't sound as croaky as it was when I left for the interview. "How was work?"

"Pretty good. However, there was an unexpected visitor," I reply.

"Don't tell me…"

"DEREK SHEPHERD. He was there!"

"What was he doing at Home Depot at this time of the day?"

"He told me that he was getting some stuff. I thought maybe he was doing some renovations on his house. He told me he wasn't. He happened to be driving through the area."

"And he just happened to stop by the Home Depot you were working at?"

"I don't why he picked this particular store."

"He likes you."

"Oh really?"

"Think about it! You're young and single. You're finishing med school next week. Do you have his phone number?"

"Yes, he left it on the checkout counter."

"A guy like Derek Shepherd leaving you his phone number? He definitely likes you."

"I think he's just trying to be nice to me or he just wants to have a female friend in his life."

"Call him. Please. We're going to be doing a photo-shoot soon for the newspaper. Who do you think is going to be the photographer? April Kepner!"

"I'll call April after I call Derek."

I pick up my phone and dial his number. After the second ring, he answers.

"Shepherd," he replies.

"Um, hello Mr. Shepherd. It's Meredith Grey," I say.

"Ms. Grey. Lovely to hear from you."

I can see Izzie looking at me with a smirk on her face.

"Our university is doing a photo-shoot tomorrow and I was hoping you'd be able to come. What time would be the most convenient for you?" I continue.

"Well, I'm staying at the Hilton on 40th Street, so how about nine? I'll meet you at the location. Just send me a text and I'll be there. I look forward to seeing you."

"I look forward to seeing you too, Mr. Shepherd."

"See you tomorrow, Ms. Grey."

He ends the call and after I set my phone down, Izzie is smirking at me.

"Meredith Grey, no way!" she replies. "He so likes you. I've never seen you like this with any man. There's definitely something different about him."

"I guess I kind of like him. I'm still sorting through my feelings. I really don't know what to think. I forgot that I haven't studied for my last final yet, so I'm going to go to my room."

"Let me know if you need any help with it."

"I will."

I grab my textbook off the coffee table and head down to my room.

* * *

The next evening, I decide to wear a fancy black jumpsuit with black heels to the photo-shoot. Izzie is dressed in a knee length red dress and silver heels. After we arrive at the scheduled location - which is the Sheraton Hotel in Downtown Seattle - I am drinking a glass of champagne when I see Derek walk in.

_Crap._

My heart is racing and pounding in my chest. I have to take a few deep breaths. I am trying to calm myself down. But Mr. Shepherd is so handsome. He's hot. I will not deny that.

"Well hello, Ms. Grey," he says. "We meet again."

He extends his hand and I shake it. I take another deep breath. It feels like electricity is running through our veins. I can't stop looking at him. Why would I want to stop?

Izzie walks over to us.

"Mr. Shepherd, this is my roommate, Izzie Stevens," I say, introducing her.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Stevens," he replies.

"The pleasure is mine," is her response. After she shakes his hand, she goes off to get some champagne for herself.

April walks over to me.

"Derek, this is April Kepner, our photographer," I say.

"Ms. Kepner," Derek replies.

"Mr. Shepherd," April answers.

They shake hands. Then April goes off to find Izzie.

"Ms. Grey, would you like to join me for coffee right now? My treat," is Derek's question.

"Sure," I reply. My mind is going crazy. Maybe Izzie is right. Maybe he likes me. Scratch that. I think he does.

"Walk with me."

I pull out my phone and compose a quick text to my roommate, telling her that I'm about to go have coffee with Derek. She sends me back a text that says, _He likes you. Go for it, but be careful._

Mr. Shepherd and I walk to the coffee shop and we each order different drinks. He gets a mocha while I get a peppermint tea. My stomach is acting up a little bit, but I do not believe I have caught what Izzie has.

After getting our drinks, Derek and I sit down at one of the tables. We start talking about his family. Once we finish the conversation, we toss our cups in the trash can and start heading back to the Sheraton. I suddenly am immersed in my thoughts of Derek that I don't even notice myself falling off the sidewalk and stumbling into the road.

"Meredith!" he cries out, grabbing me and pulling me back onto the sidewalk just before a cyclist could hit me. "Are you okay?"

He's holding me close to him and suddenly, I am becoming intoxicated by his presence. I want this man to kiss me.

* * *

_Would you kiss me?_ I ask myself. I'm still looking at him.

"Meredith, you should stay away from me. I'm not the guy for you," he says to me.

I can't think of anything else to say but, "Thank you for saving me".

"That idiot wasn't looking where he was going," Derek replies. "My mind was going crazy. I didn't know what was going to happen to you. Thank you for joining me for coffee. I had a wonderful time. Good luck on your finals. I'll be at the graduation ceremony."

He leaves me at the doorway to the Sheraton and then leaves.

I feel a couple tears run down my face.

_Why, Derek?_ I think to myself. _I didn't want you to leave. I like you. I wish you could be mine._

* * *

When I make it back to the apartment, Izzie immediately notices that my body language is different.

"You've been crying," she says.

"Yeah, a little."

"It's about Derek, isn't it?"

"Yes. He saved me tonight. A cyclist almost hit me when I started falling off the sidewalk. But then Derek told me that I should stay away from him. He says that he's not the guy for me."

"Are you kidding? How many times do I have to say that you're beautiful? How could Derek not want you? Any guy would be lucky to have you."

We finish up the conversation and I go back to my studying. Final exams are coming up and I want to do well.

* * *

It's Monday morning and I set my pencil down, the smile spreading across my face. Med school is now officially over; I have just finished my final exam. All that is left of my academics was getting my diploma on Friday.

Izzie and I head back to the apartment and as soon as we walk up the steps, my roommate says, "There's a package for you, Meredith."

I take the package inside and use a boxcutter to open it. Once I'm in the apartment, I look inside the box and there is a book. It happens to be _Wuthering Heights_. It is a very expensive copy of the book.

"No way!" Izzie says, looking at the book. "It had to be Derek who sent that! That book looks like it was worth several hundred dollars."

"But why would…?" I ask. Then it hit me.

I had forgotten that I told Derek about _Wuthering Heights_, about it being my favorite book.

I decide not to think about him. It's time to go out to the bar and celebrate the end of med school.

* * *

A half hour later, I've already drank three shots of tequila and am preparing for my fourth one. I accidentally butt-dial Derek and I didn't hear him say that he was coming to pick me up.

I look at my phone and gasp when I realize that I have accidentally dialed Derek's number.

"Meredith?" I hear someone ask.

I look up and see George standing in front of me. I can tell that he's quite drunk.

"Meredith, I like you," he continues. He's pulling me close to him. I can smell the alcohol on his breath.

_No, no, no, this is not what I want!_ I think.

"George, stop. You're like my brother," I say.

He begins to kiss along my jawline.

_NO!_ I am thinking. _Don't do this, please._

"Excuse me, I think she told you to stop," says another voice. I recognize it as Derek's.

George shakes his head and realizes that he's looking at me.

"Meredith, I am so, so sorry," he says, then runs off, completely ashamed and embarrassed.

I look at Derek and suddenly realize that I am going to be sick. Izzie sends me a text saying that she was having a great time with Derek's friend, Alex Karev. Then I vomit onto the ground and suddenly pass out into Derek's arms.

* * *

**AN: Rating change will happen next chapter ;)**


	4. Chapter IV

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR

When I awake next, I notice that I'm in a different location. There's light-brown walls and satin sheets on the bed I'm currently lying in. I look down and realize that my dress is missing. The worst thought has come to my mind: did someone assault me while I was unconscious?

I take another look around the room and I realize that I'm in Derek Shepherd's place.

I'm only wearing a t-shirt, bra, and underwear. I wrap the comforter around me just as I hear a knock on the door. It's a little chilly in the room and since I'm not wearing much clothing, the air feels colder.

"Meredith?" I hear him ask on the other side of the door.

"Come in," I reply.

He steps in wearing sweatpants and a black t-shirt. There is sweat on his forehead. I can tell that he's been working out. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Definitely better than I was yesterday." I look around the room, then continue speaking. "Where did my dress go?"

"I sent it to the dry cleaners. You vomited all over it and the ground and then passed out in my arms. I brought you here because I didn't know if you'd throw up again. I undressed you and put you to bed."

"We didn't…"

"No, of course not. I would never do anything without consent."

He hands me an Ibuprofen along with a glass of water. The water is refreshing and cold as I swallow down the pill.

"That should help," he says. "Breakfast will be here very soon. I'm going to take a shower. Or would you like to take one first? I have another shower."

"I'll take one first," I reply.

He leaves a towel and some shampoo and conditioner on the counter, along with a fresh change of clothes. Then he closes the door behind him.

As I take off what clothes I had left on and step into the shower, I let the water cascade over my body. It's very relaxing. Then thoughts of Derek Shepherd begin to fill my mind. Slightly inappropriate ones. He is the only man who has made me feel like I'm on fire. For the first time in my life, I want to sleep with a man. I want his hands and mouth on me. It's hard enough not picturing him naked after seeing him in those sweatpants. My heart is racing once again. I start becoming immersed in a fantasy. I pick up the bar of soap. It smells like him. I start taking the soap and rubbing it all over my body. I start by going across my chest and then down to between my thighs. I imagine his hands down there. Just thinking about him has made me feeling hot and bothered. Now I want him more than ever.

I come out of my fantasy and step out of the shower. I dry myself off with the towel and put my new, fresh clothes on. My hair is still dripping wet, but I manage to take some of the wetness away from it with the towel.

I step out into the main room of his suite and he's sitting at the table with a large amount of breakfast. I sit down at the table and begin to eat the food. It's delicious. I did not realize how hungry I was.

"You should stay away from me," Derek says to me. "I'm not a romantic. I'm not really even into romance. But there's something about you that's drawing me closer. I can't stay away from you."

_I'm sorry, what did you just say?_

"Don't stay away," I reply.

I start biting my lip because I'm wondering where this conversation is going.

"If you become enlightened by what I want to show you, then you may never want to see or speak to me again. I've been enjoying having you here," Derek continues. "Are you busy tonight?"

"No," I say.

"Then I can pick you up outside your apartment at eight."

After breakfast, Derek gives me a toothbrush and I brush my teeth. I'm still dressed in the clothes he brought me earlier.

He locks up his apartment and we walk down the hall to the elevator. Once we step inside, we are alone. The sexual tension between us is growing. I bite my lip because I don't know what else to do.

"Screw it!" Derek says. He pushes me against the back wall of the elevator. I am completely stunned.

He uses his hips to keep me against the wall of the elevator. Derek gently grabs my hands and holds them above my head. His lips are on mine and it feels like I'm on fire. I let out a moan because the kiss is so good. I open my mouth a bit more so he can continue kissing me. I've never had a kiss this passionate. I want to wrap my legs around his waist, but I decide not to. I don't want to let him go.

I feel him against my leg. He's very hard. I realize that he does want me. I want him too.

"You are amazing," he says after we break apart.

My mind is spinning. Derek Shepherd has just kissed me.

The doors open and I'm temporarily paralyzed. His passionate kiss has left me unable to move for a second. I force my brain to tell my body to move. I start following him out of the elevator and to the parking lot.

* * *

At eight that evening, Derek stops by the apartment to pick me up for our...date? Well, I don't really know what to call tonight.

He drives me back to his place.

Once we step inside, he hands me a piece of paper.

"I requested to have these papers from my lawyer. When you sign this, you're saying that you will not tell anyone about the things I'm into. Also, you are not to tell anyone what you will see in just a minute," he says to me.

I picked up the papers and briefly read over them. Then I pick up a pen from the kitchen counter and sign my name at the bottom of the paper. His name is already there.

"I trust you," I reply.

"Come with me, I have something to show you. Anytime you want to leave, it's fine with me. Someone will always be in the parking lot."

I follow him down the hall to a strange room. He opens the door and my eyes can't believe what I'm seeing.

* * *

Derek steps aside and lets me enter the room. I am having a hard time comprehending what I'm looking at.

There is a large bed with red sheets. It's a four-poster with thin white curtains. But that's not the only thing in the room.

There's metal chains and handcuffs just hanging on the wall. Next to that are two large pieces of wood. They form a 'X'. There also appears to be whips.

What have I even stepped into? I ask myself. I take in my surroundings.

"What...what is all this? It's like I've stepped back into Medieval Times," I say. "Who comes in here?"

"Women," is Derek's reply. "I only hurt them with their consent. I want you to do this with me, but I won't do anything until you say yes to this."

"I'm just taking it all in."

"I have more papers."

He hands them to me. He tells me that we should go sit at the table and look them over. For the next hour, I'm reading through six pages of objects - some I recognize, some I don't - but not in the way that Derek has written them on the paper. He also has a set of rules about food and hygiene.

**-Candle wax on the back**

**-Whipping**

**-Restraints**

**-Bound and Gagged**

These were just a few things on the list that I saw. I swallow nervously, wondering whether I should go through this.

"This is something that I've never heard of or experienced before," I say. "It's a lot to take in."

"I'm going to be sending you a laptop for further research. You may not show your research to anyone, not even Izzie," he replies. "Is there anything that I should know about you?"

"Well, I'm a...I'm a virgin. I've never had sex before."

WAIT. WHY DID I SAY THAT?! I think.

"You've never had sex before?!" Derek exclaims, his tone of voice changing. "Why wouldn't you say anything about it?"

* * *

"Well, that's not something I tell most people," I continue. "The only person who knows is Izzie."

Derek takes a deep breath and sighs. He takes the papers from my hands and sets them down on the table. He takes my hand and helps me stand up. Very slowly, he pulls me close to him and kisses me on the mouth.

"Those lips," he says. "I want to touch and nip them." I smile at him. "Will you spend the night here with me?"

"I would love to."

He takes another deep breath and looks me in the eyes.

"Meredith, please let me make love to you tonight," he continues.

"Please," I reply.

As soon as the word is out of my mouth, his mouth is on mine. He's leading me down the hall to his bedroom. Then we're standing in the middle of the room. He removes the white jacket I had been wearing and sets it on a chair near his bed.

His warm fingers start to undo the buttons on my light-blue blouse. Derek places light, almost feather-like kisses across my jaw, chin, neck, and lips. I moan softly at the feel of his lips on my skin. I cup his face for a few seconds, but he tells me to keep my hands off of him. Once my blouse is undone, he slides it off my shoulders and lets it fall to the floor.

"Your skin is so beautiful," he says to me. "I'm going to kiss every inch of it."

He plants another kiss on my mouth. It's hot and passionate.

Derek then sets me down on his large bed. His hands run up my legs until they are at my waist. They find the zipper of my dress pants, along with the button. My pants fall to the floor next to my blouse.

I'm only in my shoes, bra, and underwear. I feel his hand traveling up between my legs until he's touching the most sensitive spot on my body. He presses it with his thumb, causing me to moan loudly. He continues to flick my clit with his thumb and all I can do is say his name. When he takes his hand away, I pout at him.

"You're so beautiful, Meredith Grey. The things I could do to you. I want to be inside you," he says.

He takes off my shoes so that I'm in my bra and underwear. Then he pushes me onto the bed and undoes the button on his jeans, pulling them off of himself. Derek is now hovering over me and I'm trying to catch my breath. He takes my breath away every time I see him. I don't want to stop seeing him. Derek starts kissing the side of my neck and I can't stay still because he keeps teasing me. I then feel him kiss down my body.

"You've got to try staying still," he says, his voice dropping an octave lower. "But that will be one of the things we work on."

Derek takes off his white t-shirt and throws it aside. My hands are immediately on his chest. I feel the outline of his muscles.

He's going to be off the market very soon, I think. He's mine. All of him, every single part of him, will be mine. And I'm going to be his.

Derek puts his hands on my back and undoes the bra. It slides off my shoulders and he tosses it behind him.

"You're beautiful," he says, planting kisses across my chest. I can't stop moving around because my body wants him.

"Derek…" I say, crying out. He is doing wonders to my body that I've never experienced before.

"I want you," he continues. Derek kisses me passionately, then in one move, slides my underwear off and throws them to the side. He pulls off his underwear and I can't help but look at him.

_How is this going to work?_ I think to myself.

"You don't need to worry. Your body will adjust," he says.

Derek is still hovering right over me, then kisses me again. My lips have become a little swollen from all the kissing we have done. I feel him near my entrance. Before I know it, I'm crying out his name as he enters me and takes my virginity.

"Meredith!" he cries out. "You feel amazing. So tight."

"Derek…" I reply.

It isn't that much longer before we both climax. I'm just lying there in his bed, thinking about the fact that he has just taken my virginity.

"You should get some sleep, Ms. Grey," he says. "I'm not going anywhere."


	5. Chapter V

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE

When I awake next, I discover that I'm still in bed. My stomach growls and I realize that I am very hungry. I get out of bed and stretch my hands over my head. I hear my phone buzzing and remember that I have forgotten to call Izzie back. There is a text on my phone from her, asking me how my date was. There are three more texts that had followed. I wonder if she thinks I'm passed out in some ditch on the side of the road.

_-Meredith, did you make it home?_

_-Meredith, are you okay?_

_-MEREDITH GREY._

Those are the texts I read from Izzie. I quickly dial her number and leave her a voicemail message. I throw on a shirt, not even bothering to put a bra on. I walk down to his kitchen and ponder whether I should make Derek some breakfast. Izzie and I like to cook, and we make some pretty good food.

I start looking around in his cupboards for food and then go to the fridge. I grab an orange, peel it, and start to eat it.

"Good morning, Ms. Grey," Derek says when he comes into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mr. Shepherd," I reply. "I'm sorry. I was hungry and grabbed an orange."

"No need to apologize. I'm going to order breakfast. How about some sausage, bacon, and pancakes?"

"Sounds good. I am starving."

10 minutes later, the food arrives and I can't wait to eat. I didn't remember eating much for dinner last night, so I figure that is why I am so hungry.

"If you're going to stay, why don't we work on some training?" he asks.

I almost start to choke on a piece of bacon.

"What kind of training?" I question.

"Training your mouth."

"Well, I will need to go home tonight since I need some clean clothes. Plus, I need to talk to Izzie. I will say nothing about the Non-Disclosure Agreement. My lips are sealed on that note."

"What did you think of last night?"

"It was amazing. I loved it."

We finish our breakfast and after he cleans up the dishes and puts them in the dishwasher, he takes my hand.

"Come with me," he says.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"We're going to take a nice hot bath."

I am feeling the desire building down there. I want him more than ever again.

* * *

When we enter the bathroom, Derek stands in front of me. I'm wearing only a long t-shirt. He then lifts it over my head so that I'm naked. I feel a little embarrassed, but I don't know why.

"You are so beautiful, Meredith," he says to me. "I don't want you to feel embarrassed. I want to look at you."

I look him in the eyes and see that they have turned a dark blue with arousal. I smell the vanilla coming from the bubble bath mixture he has put in. He takes my hand and helps me into the tub. The water is hot and it feels very relaxing.

"Are you joining me?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies.

He takes off his pants and I see that he goes commando. He climbs into the tub and settles me in between his legs. I can feel his growing erection pressing into my back. Derek grabs a washcloth from the side of the tub and squirts some body wash on it. He starts rubbing the cloth over every part of my body. When he reaches my most sensitive spot, I can't help but throw my head back and moan softly.

He finishes cleaning me and then says, "I have a plan for you. Turn around and face me."

I do so and see the size of his erection. I still can't believe that it was inside me no more than 12 hours ago. I squeeze some of the body wash on my hands and begin to touch him. He closes his eyes and begins to vocalize sounds that I haven't heard before. Then I take him into my mouth and began using my tongue.

"Meredith…" he says, his voice somewhat choked. "Oh yes, that feels so good…"

I continue with this for three minutes until he cums in my mouth. He tells me that I don't have to swallow, so he grabs a nearby trash can, as well as a hand towel. He allows me to spit the cum out into the towel. Then he tosses it in the trash can. When he faces me again, his eyes have returned to their normal shade of blue.

"As for your oral training, you passed. You gave me an orgasm, and now I will return the favor," he says. We both get out of the tub and dry each other off with towels.

He then takes me to the room with all the objects.

"Will you say yes to this? To this agreement?" Derek asks me.

I'm still a little shocked. I want to say yes, but my mouth is having trouble forming the word. He pulls out a thin blue rope.

"Do you trust me?" he continues after he pushes me onto the bed.

"Yes," I reply.

"Hold your hands out in front of you."

I do so and he restrains them.

"Keep them above your head," he instructs. "I'm gonna kiss every inch of you."

He starts kissing my lips, then my neck, and then down my torso. Since my hands are tied, it takes a little more effort to touch his head.

"Keep your hands above you," he says. "I don't want to start over again."

He puts his mouth on my clit and sucks gently. When I feel his tongue, I scream in pleasure. It feels so amazing, a different feeling from when he was inside me last night. He continues going back and forth between licking and sucking until I cum hard. When the orgasm rips through me, I scream loudly.

"If you sign the agreement, the one with all the terms about food, hygiene, and limits, you would be mine. You have no idea how much I want that," he says.

Outside the apartment, I can hear a voice.

"Oh crap!" Derek says after listening to the voice. "My mother is here."


	6. Chapter VI

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SIX

"I want you to meet my mother," Derek continues. He throws some clothes at me from his closet. I have forgotten I didn't have any clean clothes with me.

"Um, Derek…" I say to him. My wrists are still tied.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

He undoes the rope and goes to the bathroom to comb his hair. I dress myself in the clothes he gave me and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is alright; running my fingers through it should make me look presentable.

Derek finishes getting dressed and combing his hair. Then he goes into the main room of his apartment to go and talk to his mother.

I walk out into the living room and see an older woman standing there.

"Mom, this is Meredith. Meredith, this is my mother," Derek says.

I shake her hand.

"Please, call me Carolyn. Most people call me Ms. Shepherd," his mother replies. She turns back to Derek. "When and how did you meet this wonderful young lady?"

"About a week ago, Meredith came to my office for a job interview," he replies.

My phone is buzzing and I excuse myself to go answer it. I believe it is Izzie, but I am wrong. It is George. He tells me he has been trying to get ahold of me to apologize for actions the other day. I tell him I am busy.

When I go back to the main room, I hear Derek telling his mother that he needs to take me back to my house. I say goodbye to her, and she tells me that she hopes to see me again.

Derek goes into his bedroom after she leaves and pulls out an envelope.

"Here," he says to me. He hands me the envelope. "This is the contract. I'm hoping you will sign it. You should do some Internet research over the weekend."

"Um, I don't have a computer. I could probably borrow Izzie's MacBook," I say.

"I'll send you a laptop. You may not show this research to anyone."

"I want to make a quick call." I just want to call Izzie and hear her voice. I'm going to tell her that I'll be home soon and did not pass out in a ditch earlier this week.

"To George?" Derek asks. I have told him about the earlier phone call. "I have a bit of a jealousy issue. I don't like to share many things."

I am a little taken aback by his words.

* * *

We have dinner at a restaurant and he tells me a little about his past. Afterwards, he drops me off at the apartment and I spend the next half hour talking to Izzie about Derek and George.

She tells me that she's going to New York City for a few days, but would be back in time for the graduation ceremony. I tell her that I'm tired and want to sleep.

Once I'm in the room, I pull out the envelope and the papers.

* * *

The first paper is the title page of this contract. It says:

_Date: (insert month and day) of 2005_

_Dominant: Derek Shepherd_

_Submissive: Meredith Grey_

The next three pages deal with some rules. At the end, there are two lines for both my signature and Derek's. He has not signed the contract yet.

The last few pages deal with the limits of this...whatever Derek and I may end up being. One particular section caught my eye: Bondage.

**-Blindfolded**

**-Gagged**

**-Restrained at wrists and ankles**

**-The Saint Andrew's Cross**

**-Handcuffs**

Those are a few things I read in the section. I finish reading the contract and my mind is trying to process what I have just seen.

I am a little unsure about the bondage. But I did like when he tied my wrists together with the blue rope.

I think I am starting to consider this.

_Why?_ I ask myself. _Why should I sign this contract and let this man inflict pain on me?_

_Because you like him,_ the other part of me replies. _You liked having your wrists restrained. You can't stop seeing him. And he likes you too._

There is a knock at the door the next morning. My new laptop from Derek has arrived and the delivery man helps to set up the laptop. I find an email from Derek.

We email back and forth for a bit until he tells me to do some Internet research. I decide to research 'Submissive'. I read the Wikipedia article and the first thing I say after reading it is, "HOLY CRAP!"

* * *

That evening, Derek comes over. I invite him inside and tell him that I did do some research and read over the contract. I tell him that I'm still thinking about it.

His lips are on mine within a few seconds. I kiss him back and lead him to my bedroom. He picks me up off the ground and sets me on the bed. Derek takes off his black tie and I think he's going to throw it behind him.

Nope.

He takes my wrists and gently ties them together. He uses the other end of the tie to restrain me to the headboard of my bed. I'm very aroused and wanting him. I can feel his erection against my leg.

Then he takes my shirt and pulls it up around my eyes. He twists the shirt so that all I see is darkness.

He walks down to the kitchen - I think - and comes back with a glass. He fills it with ice and then some type of drink.

"Would you like a drink?" he asks me.

"Yes, please," I reply.

He pours the liquid - red wine - into my mouth. It feels refreshing with those ice cubes in it. He leaves some of the wine in the glass. I feel an ice cube and a little bit of the wine land on my stomach. It is cold at first but then starts getting warmer.

"Don't move, Ms. Grey," he says. "I will punish you if you spill the ice and/or the wine."

I want to move. His voice is seductive, yet firm.

He quickly pulls my bra down, leaving me exposed. There is a small chill in the air. I think the AC must have gotten turned down a couple of degrees.

The ice on my belly button has started to melt. I'm getting really warm. I want him inside me.

"I will not let you have an orgasm if you spill ice and/or wine," Derek says to me.

"Sir, Derek, please…" I beg.

"I like it when you beg, Meredith."

He pulls down my underwear and begins to tease me with his fingers. I can't help but move, spilling the ice onto the bed.

"Sir...Derek! I need you!" I scream.

He continues to tease me.

"You moved," he says. "This is your punishment. But otherwise, you've been a good girl."

"Derek," I reply. "Please, Sir."

"Please what?"

"I want you inside me."

"Well…"

He then flips me over onto my stomach. I'm still restrained and blindfolded. I can feel the heat pooling in my belly. Then he brings his hand down on my behind.

I let out a yelp.

He continues to spank me. I'm crying out, but I'm loving it.

Then he turns me around so that I'm looking at him. He enters me and I moan loudly. I then wrap my legs around his waist. When we finish, he unties me and takes the shirt off from around my eyes. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust to the light and when they do, I am looking at Derek.

"Are you still considering the contract?" he asks me.

"Oh, that? Yes, I am. But I do have some issues with that contact. I was going to email them to you."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't have a chance to."

We get dressed and before he leaves, he kisses me and pulls me close to him.

"Meredith Grey, do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asks.

"I think I have the same question."

He kisses me once more and then leaves.

When I turn towards the bedroom door, I see Izzie grinning at me.


	7. Chapter VII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

"Girl, no way!" Izzie exclaims. "You had sex with him!"

"Yes," I reply, smirking at her.

"How is he?"

"Very good. Very passionate."

I tell Izzie that I'm tired and want to go to sleep. She smirks at me, knowing that I'm probably tired from the sex.

Once I've closed the door to the bedroom and settle down on my bed, I pull the contract out of the bedside table drawer and read it over again. Once I finish reading it, I turn my new laptop on and compose an email to Derek.

**From: Meredith Grey**

**Subject: Some Contract Issues**

**Date: August 10, 2005**

**To: Derek Shepherd**

Sir,

Dinner on Thursday sounds wonderful. Six PM works for me. I'm hoping that over dinner we can discuss these issues I have with the contract.

1: You are the only person I have slept with. So I do not have any STD's. I do not take drugs, smoke, or give blood transfusions. I gave blood - once - when I was 17. I was clean (and still am).

2: I am interested in the contract. But just know that I may decide to terminate it at any time.

3: I will only do a month trial period. Not two.

4: I will not be available every weekend. I do have friends. And a social life. One weekend I must have time off.

5: The food list is ridiculous. That will be the deciding factor on whether I sign this or not. I will not eat food from a list.

-Meredith

* * *

The next day, I decide to phone my mother, Ellis.

"Meredith, I'm so sorry that I can't be there. I want to," she says. "I'm glad that Izzie is going to FaceTime it. I can't believe my baby is graduating med school."

"Mom, please don't cry. If you cry, I'll start crying as well," I reply.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Have you met someone?"

"No, not really."

Well, I'm currently involved in a relationship that involves sex and being restrained...something kinky.

It's not like I can tell my mother about Derek.

* * *

On Thursday evening, Derek and I gather at an Italian restaurant for dinner. We begin to discuss the issues that I had written to him in my email once we're in a private dining room.

"The part about you taking time off really caught my attention," he says. "Do you know how hard it is to stay away from you? Very difficult. You have no idea how much I want to do you on this table right now. I can tell you want me too."

"How…?"

"Your breathing changed. It's a little faster. Your face also looks a little flushed."

After we discuss the contract, I realize that almost an hour has gone by. We have finished dinner and the waiter comes by to ask if we want dessert.

"No, thank you," I say. "It was a lovely dinner, Mr. Shepherd. But I think I'm going to go now."

"Go?" Derek asks. "Why?"

"Because…I need time to think about this...this relationship, or whatever it is. Plus, the graduation ceremony is tomorrow. I need to rest up."

He walks me to the parking lot, where I press my lips to his and kiss him goodbye.

Is this the end? The end of us? After the graduation ceremony, will I see him again?

I get in my car and drive to the apartment. Izzie's car is gone, meaning that she is still in NYC.

When I get dressed for bed, I see that Derek has sent me an email. I don't respond to it, and I lie down on my bed, crying myself to sleep.

* * *

_I see Derek standing in front of me wearing nothing but black silk underwear. I'm completely naked and restrained to the Saint Andrew's Cross in the corner of the room. My hands are tied above me and restrained with leather straps. Derek places his hand on my cheek and slowly slides his hand down to between my legs. I fight the urge to cry out. He pulls out a red riding crop and smacks me across the chest with it. I wince in pain, but it's not enough to call out the safeword._

_He smacks my chest a couple more times with the crop._

_"You've been a very bad girl, Ms. Grey," he says to me. "You must be punished."_

_I accept my punishment, getting even more aroused as the crop hits me._

* * *

_What?!_ I ask myself when I wake up. _What the heck just happened?_

Apparently I had a sex dream. I have no idea what caused that. Maybe it was the Internet research and reading over that contract again.

* * *

The graduation ceremony goes along smoothly. I receive my diploma and then sit down next to Izzie. I wave a hello to my parents - who are on video chat - and they blow me a couple of kisses.

* * *

Derek comes over to the apartment after the ceremony. We stand outside the apartment and he shows me a new car parked in front of the building. It's at least a $20,000 car. I seem a little upset by the fact that he had bought me a car even though I already have one.

"I'm very wealthy," he says. "Expect lots of expensive gifts from me. And do you know how difficult it is for me not to take you on the hood of the car?"

"I'm guessing pretty difficult," I reply.

Then he kisses me. We go into the apartment and as soon as we're inside, he locks the door.

"Face me," Derek says. "I want to peel you out of that sexy dress you're wearing."

My breathing quickens. I feel his hands pushing my hair behind my shoulders.

"That is the sexiest dress I've seen you wear," he says. The dress I am wearing is dark red and floor-length. "It really shows off how beautiful you are."

I tilt my head to the side to allow him access to my neck and he starts inhaling the scent of the coconut shampoo and conditioner I used earlier that morning. His fingers are warm against my shoulder. He lifts the strap over my head and allows the dress to fall onto the floor in a puddle.

"Hmmm, I like," he says. "You're not wearing a bra."

I arch my back a bit as I wrap my arms around his neck. He's teasing me and I'm feeling weak under his touch. The things this man does to me.

"You like what I'm doing to you, don't you, Ms. Grey?" he asks.

"Yes, Sir, I love it," I reply.

I feel like I might cum soon because of the teasing he's doing to me.

"No, you may not cum yet," he says. "I'm a little displeased at the moment."

He turns me around so that my back is to him. He continues the slow, sensual movements with his hands and it becomes so intense that I end up grinding my behind into him.

Derek moans at the sensation and then slips two fingers inside me.

"You are ready for me, aren't you?" he says seductively to me.

"Take me now, please, Mr. Shepherd," I beg him.

"You know how much I like it when my woman begs me."

He grabs ahold of my hand and places over his hardness.

"This is what you do to me, Ms. Grey," he continues. "Now take off my pants. You are now in charge."

"Stay still," I command.

"Yes ma'am."

No more than two minutes later, I am on top of him, sinking down on his hardness. When we're done, I'm lying my head on his chest and we both start to doze off.


	8. Chapter VIII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT

When I awake, I find that I'm still lying next to Derek.

"Did you have something you want to tell me?" he asks after I smirk at him.

"I had a sex dream," I say.

"What was it about?"

"It involved me being restrained to the Saint Andrew's Cross. You had a riding crop in your hand and smacked me across the chest with it."

"Well, I do have one of the those crosses. We can use it sometime. And I definitely have several riding crops. I hate wearing these condoms."

I hold up a second one.

"Will you stay and use it?" I ask.

"I will work on revising the contract. When it's done, I'll give it to you. Then we can play for the first time."

"Play?"

"Yes. I really want to do a scenario with you, but I'm not going to do anything until you sign."

I roll my eyes, but then I realize that I shouldn't have done it.

"Meredith Grey, you just rolled your eyes at me. You know what is happening next. Guess that condom will be used," he says. "Are you going to roll your eyes at me again?"

"No, I won't, Sir," I reply.

Derek's hand is on my behind and it feels slightly cold. Suddenly, I feel his hand leave my behind and then I feel it being brought down.

_OUCH!_ I think, but I don't call out. He hits me again, this time, it's a different place on my behind. The pain is intense.

"OUCH!" I cry out. This time, I can't help but call out.

He spanks me seven times and then says, "Excellent. Now I'm going to make love to you."

I can hear him undo his pants and then he slides the condom on.

Before I know it, Derek is inside me and I scream in pleasure. My behind is quite sore, but at this moment, I do not care. All I care about is that this handsome man is inside me, and I know that I'm probably not going to be able to walk straight tomorrow.

* * *

After Derek leaves, I decide to call my mother.

"Meredith, I'm so sorry that I couldn't make it!" she tells me. "I'm really glad that Izzie FaceTimed the whole thing, but it just isn't the same."

I'm silent for a moment.

"What's up?" she asks.

"I met this guy and we're really different from each other. I'm just wondering whether I should continue to see him," I say.

"How long have you known him?"

"Hm...it's been about two weeks."

"Oh, Meredith, you have plenty of time. See if he's a keeper. I'd like to meet him someday. But maybe you need some time away from home. Why don't you come see us?"

"Well, I got a couple of job interviews in Seattle on Tuesday."

"That's great news, sweetie! I hope they go well."

* * *

Derek comes back to the apartment that night and Izzie asks me if she should kick him out. I shake my head 'no'. She closes the door behind her and goes to the living room. I tell Derek that I have given thought to what happened earlier, and that I didn't feel comfortable with the spanking. He apologizes and then tells me to face away from him. I'm starting to get ideas, but it is not what I'm expecting. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close to him and I drift off to sleep in his arms.

* * *

About a week later, I'm driving my brand new car to Derek's place. On the way there, the radio starts playing some Latin Pop music.

I'm going to be spending some time with a doctor, who will give me birth control. Before I had to go into the room to get the necessary medication, Derek whispers into my ear, "I can't wait to get that dress off of you."

* * *

After talking with the doctor, I am given a prescription that would be at the pharmacy tomorrow.

"The doctor told me that after I take the pill tomorrow, no sex for three weeks," I tease. Derek looks shocked, but then I giggle.

The doctor leaves the apartment and then Derek and I eat a quick breakfast. The dishes all manage to fit in the dishwasher and then he takes my hand and leads me down the hall.

"When you are in this room, you are completely mine," he says. "I have the freedom to do what I want to you." Oh crap. We're back in that room again. "I'm gonna take that dress off you. I could stare at you at all since you have the most beautiful body I've ever seen. I don't want you to feel ashamed and/or embarrassed."

"Yes...Sir," I say.

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good girl."

Derek walks over to me and then grabs the zipper of my dress and slides it down. The dress falls to the floor in a puddle. He takes the dress and sets it on the top of his dresser. Then he walks back over to me. He unclasps my bra and slides it off, tossing it behind him.

"Now when you come in this room, you're going to be wearing only your underwear and kneeling on the floor. You are allowed to sit on your heels. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Derek asks me.

"Yes, Sir. I understand," I say.

He takes my hand and walks me over to the Saint Andrew's Cross. Once there, he asks me to put my hands over my head. I obey and then he restrains them with leather cuffs. I'm loving what he's doing to me. My feet are resting on a couple of thin pieces of wood so that I'm not dangling in the air by my hands. Then he turns around and leaves the room. I'm still restrained and I'm wondering how long I'm going to be tied to this thing.

Three minutes later, Derek returns to the room wearing a pair of black silk underwear. He's not wearing a shirt and in his hand is a red riding crop.

This is exactly what I had been dreaming about last week. Now my dream is coming true. When he steps closer to me, I can smell his body wash. It smells like vanilla and coconut.

"I like seeing you like this," Derek says to me. "It gets me even more in the mood."

Very slowly, his fingers slide into the waistband of my underwear and pulls them down, leaving me naked. He takes my underwear and tosses them aside. Derek puts the riding crop on my navel and then smacks me with it. I cry out.

"Quiet," he orders. "My good girl knows that she needs to be quiet."

He then hits me several times with it across my chest and on my clit. I bite my lip in order to prevent from crying out.

Derek stops hitting me with the crop after a few minutes and then releases my wrists from the cuffs. He tells me to hold my hands out in front of me and ties them with the zip-ties he had bought at the Home Depot.

After he ties my wrists, he sets me down on the bed and then takes his underwear off. I can hear him ripping open a condom wrapper. A few seconds later, he enters me.

This time, I can't help but call out. Derek has done things to me that no man has ever done to me before.

Once we're done, he cuts the zip ties and puts his underwear back on and throws the condom and the wrapper in the trash can. I wonder what I'll be wearing tomorrow, since Derek has put my dress and bra in the washing machine. My underwear are nowhere to be seen.

"Let's go to bed," he says. "To sleep."

I'm so tired that I barely manage to nod my head yes. He wraps me in a duvet and carries me to his bedroom and sets me on the bed. He turns off the light and climbs in next to me. His arms are inviting and warm and I fall asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat.


	9. Chapter IX

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER NINE

Soft jazz music is the first thing I hear when I wake up. I have no idea how long I've slept, but all I know is that the sun is setting because not a lot of light is shining through the window. I'm guessing that I've slept over 12 hours.

"You need to wake up, Meredith. Dinner with my mom is in an hour and we're meeting Izzie and Alex there," I hear Derek say.

"Ugh, I don't want to get up," I reply. The bed is way too comfortable. I sit up and stretch. Then I look on the chair and see a different dress on a chair in the corner of the room. The white lace bra I had worn the previous night was there but not my underwear. Where has he put them? I remember him throwing them somewhere across the room, but now I have no idea where they are.

I take a shower and once I come out, I realize that he's taken my underwear on purpose. He wants me to go to his mom's place without them on.

After I get dressed - minus underwear - I walk out into the main room of the apartment and find Derek dressed in a suit and tie. He starts playing a Frank Sinatra song and he holds out his hand. I take his hand and we slide gracefully across the floor. I didn't think he was a dancer.

"I liked that very much," he says. "Now, shall we go to dinner?"

"Yes. I'm starving. Can't wait to meet your mother again."

* * *

When we arrive at the house, Derek rings the doorbell. I see Carolyn standing there and then she gives me a hug.

"It's so nice to see you again, Meredith," she says.

"Same," I reply.

After we step inside the house, I see Izzie and Alex sitting on the couch with champagne glasses in their hands.

"Hey Meredith!" Izzie says. "Good to see you."

"Same to you," I continue.

After saying hello to everyone, it is time to eat dinner. Carolyn has prepared some chicken and vegetables. The food is delicious.

I announce that I plan on going to visit my mother tomorrow and have two job interviews on Tuesday. Derek silently begins to freak out because I have forgotten to tell him.

We finish dinner and then Derek announces that he wants to show me around the backyard and patio.

Once we're inside the guesthouse, his mouth is on mine. I kiss him back, momentarily forgetting that I don't have any underwear on underneath the dress.

"I'm going to spank you," he says.

* * *

"Please...I've been good," I beg.

"Don't give me that," he says. "I'm mad that you didn't tell me about the interviews. What if something happened to you? I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. If you don't let me spank you, then I'm gonna take you right on this couch because I need this pleasure."

He presses my clit with his thumb, which has gotten aroused in the last minute or so.

"This is mine," he growls in my ear. "Every part of you is mine. Do you understand what I just told you?"

"I am yours," I say.

"Put your hands above your head and keep them there. Maybe after this I won't spank you. But I still want to."

In one move, he pulls my dress up. It's still on me, but it's up at my chest. I hear him open a wrapper and after I see him put the condom on, he's inside me. When we're done, he produces my underwear and just after I put them back on, I hear Carolyn calling for us.

"Well, at least she picked the right time to call my name," Derek says. We get our clothes back into the correct places and then leave the guesthouse.

* * *

Once we're back in the car, Derek begs me to stay with him. I say yes. He kisses me softly.

"And I will sign your contract," I say. It's been in my head for a while now.

"Sign it when you come back from visiting your mom," he replies. "I think it will be better if you do it when you come back."

"Okay," I continue.

* * *

The next morning, I awake in nothing but one of Derek's long t-shirts. I find out that his housekeeper is an attractive red-haired woman. He tells me that he's known the redhead for many years and they are very good friends.

I walk into his home office and find him working. I'm kissing him within a few seconds.

"Either you go take a shower or I'll lay you across this desk," Derek says.

"I much prefer the desk," I reply.

I don't think he was expecting that response from me.

"If you want me, you have me."

Derek shoves all his paperwork off the desk, then grabs me by the waist and sets me on top of it. His lips are on mine almost instantly and he's ripping off my underwear and pulling me close to him. I'm really hoping that housekeeper doesn't come in here. I do not need her seeing me nearly naked on Derek's desk. He makes love to me and after we finish, I give him a kiss before heading off to the shower.

* * *

My mother is thrilled to see me when I arrive at her house. We spend the entire day together while my father is out at work. I have to get going to my first interview at eight AM tomorrow. I'm hoping to get a job at one of these two locations. I find out that Derek had upgraded my flight ticket to First Class. I also see him in town while I'm visiting my mother. He gets to meet her and she's glad that she gets to meet the man that I've talked about.

* * *

On Tuesday afternoon, I'm sitting in the lobby of Seattle Grace once again.

I'm called into the conference room and then I have my interview with a Mr. Harper Avery. When the interview is over, he shakes my hand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Grey. I hope we'll meet again," he says.

"Same to you, Mr. Avery," I reply. "Thank you for taking time out of your day to meet with me."

"The pleasure is mine."

I go back to the apartment and start talking to Izzie about my day.

"I've definitely fallen for Derek; I just don't know how to tell him. I'm just afraid that he'll want to run away," I say.

"He's not going to run. He definitely has fallen for you. Why would he want to leave?" Izzie asks.

"You're right."


	10. Chapter X

**AN: Sorry for the ending. Next chapter will be better, I promise. Please don't hate me.**

**Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TEN

I get a call from Seattle Grace the next day telling me that I had gotten the job as an intern. I arrange a meeting with Derek and I decide to tell him about the news. But I tell my mother first. She is happy that I have gotten a job so quickly after graduating medical school.

When I get to Derek's place, things seem a little tense. He's snapping at someone on his phone but when he sees me, his voice softens and he smiles. Derek takes me into his arms and before I know it, his mouth is on mine and he's pulling me towards his bedroom.

His eyes are dark with arousal and hunger as I kick off my black boots. He pushes me against the wall and continues kissing me.

"I like those pants on you. They really show off your curves," Derek says. He undoes the belt and then rips off my underwear and pants. When I feel his mouth on my clit, I can't help but cry out and put my fingers in his hair. After I've came, he kisses me and then he starts working on taking off my shirt.

"I got a job," I say. "Intern."

"Congrats," he says while undressing himself. "Where?"

"Seattle Grace. But since we've involved, I had to get a different boss."

After we take a shower together, he tells me to go to the room.

* * *

When I enter that room, I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and am on my knees. I remember that I haven't signed the contract yet. I want to, but I haven't had a chance to.

"Do you remember your safewords?" he asks.

"Yellow and red," I say. "Red is to stop."

"Correct."

I feel leather traveling across my back.

"It's a riding crop," he continues. "Remember it?"

"Yes," I say.

He leads me over to the bed and once I'm restrained, he begins to hit me with the crop. It feels good. Derek hits me a total of ten times with it. I feel him wherever he has hit me with the crop. I have my hands and feet restrained with soft rope to the head and footboard, but I can always tell him when I can't take it anymore. Right now, all I feel is pleasure and satisfaction. He takes an elastic mask and slides it over my eyes so that I only have four senses available at the moment. Since my sense of sight is now being deprived, I now to rely mostly on touch and sound, maybe even taste. Since I am restrained to the point where I can't move, I can't help but cry out when the crop and then a flogger hit me. I'm loving the fact that I'm restrained, totally submissive to this man. I love not seeing what he's doing to me; he knows my hard and soft limits.

Then I feel the bed shift under his weight and I feel him everywhere. I'm on the brink of an orgasm and he's teasing me like crazy with his fingers. He enters me and it doesn't take me long to release. I wish that I didn't have the mask on over my eyes because I would have liked to look at Derek when we were having sex.

* * *

The next morning, I realize that I'm still in Derek's apartment. I take a shower and then start eating the delicious breakfast that his housekeeper has prepared. She is nowhere to be seen.

I realize that it's been almost three weeks since I was first prescribed the birth control medication. I realize that it is that time again for me to take it. I swallow the pill with some water and I see Derek come out of the bedroom and start eating the breakfast. He brings out the contract and I see that he's crossed some things out. I can't believe he actually made some changes to it. He's crossed out the food section and said that I only need seven hours a sleep a night instead of eight.

After we clean up the dishes, he says, "I want to hurt you. You didn't say red last night because I didn't hurt you. But I don't want to do anything that you can't take."

"You want to spank me right now, don't you?" I reply.

"Yes."

"Show me how much you want to hurt me. I want to know."

"Meredith…"

"Show me."

I follow him to the playroom and then he takes off his belt - I don't even know why he's even dressed - and I hear it against his hand.

"I will hit you eight times, and you will count each hit that I give you," he orders me.

"Yes, Sir," I say.

By the time it reaches four, I can't help but cry. The tears start to fall down my face. When he finishes, the belt is dropped onto the floor. He tries to pull me into his arms.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" I snap. I don't want him in this moment. I can't believe I'm saying this to him. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

I step away from him, grabbing my dress pants.

"Is this what you want with me?" I ask. "You want me like this?"

"Meredith, please…"

"Don't you even dare call me that! You are crazy!"

I run out of the room, the tears running down my face. I go to the bedroom and fling myself onto the bed.

_Why?_ I tell myself. _Why did I have to fall in love with him?_

* * *

After about 20 minutes, he knocks on the door and I say, "Come in".

"I don't want to leave," I continue. "But I've fallen in love with you."

He looks shocked. I don't think he was expecting me to say that.

"You can't love me, Meredith. That's just wrong."

"But I have."

"I can't make you happy."

"You have. But I'd like you to leave. I'm going to get dressed."

He does leave the room. I know exactly what I need to do.

I love Derek. There's no denying it. But he can't give me what I want, so I need to leave.

When I get dressed, I come out of the bedroom and tell Derek that I want whatever money back that was used to buy the expensive car. I have written him a goodbye note, telling him that I am done with whatever world he wants me to live in.

"Meredith, it's yours," he says.

"I don't want anything that will remind me of you. Of us. You can't give me what I want. Romance. Love. I'm sorry, I cannot stay," I say.

"I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to either, but I have to. I just want the money that was used for that car."

"I'll send you a check."

We have a small distance between us. I walk towards the elevator and I hear him behind me.

"Stop," I say.

He doesn't stop walking.

"NO!" I say firmly.

The tone of my voice makes him stops right then and there. I step out into the hallway, then into the elevator, and then hit the button to go down to the main floor.

"Goodbye, Meredith," he says.

"Goodbye, Derek," I reply. Then the elevator doors close and I arrive on the main floor. I call a taxi to drive me back to the apartment.

* * *

I can't believe I've actually done it. I broke up with the only man I ever loved. The only man that I've ever slept with. I feel the tears run down my face as I start to cry. I hug my pillow close to me and try to erase thoughts of Derek Shepherd.


	11. Chapter XI

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

It's been a week since I ended my relationship with Derek, and this week seems to have flown by quickly. I'm on my third day at work and I've been enjoying my new job as well as meeting a lot of new faces. And then of course, there is Mr. Avery. He smiles at me.

"Excellent work today," he says. "I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Meredith."

"Goodnight, Mr. Avery," I say.

After I step out into the parking lot, I try not to think about my old car or the new one.

_Do not think about Derek,_ I tell myself.

The day after we broke up, I spent the whole day at home crying. I really did not realize that he meant so much to me. I love him. I still do. But I know he can't give me what I want in a guy, so I'm going to have to find someone else.

When I arrive back at home, the apartment is dark and quiet. Izzie and Alex have gone off to London on vacation. I miss my roommate. I really want someone to talk to right now. I feel kind of lonely.

I'm thinking about opening a bottle of red wine...scratch that. Derek always liked red wine. I don't want to eat or drink anything that would remind me of him. I can't help but wonder how he's dealing with the breakup. I wonder if he's doing okay. I mean, he's a somewhat wealthy guy. So maybe he's back at the hospital working. I wonder if he's thought about me over the last week.

I hear the intercom buzz and a voice says, "I have a delivery here for a Ms. Meredith Grey."

I roll my eyes, wondering who would have delivered something to my - well, Izzie and I's - apartment at such a late hour. After making my way down to the main floor, I sign for the package and then carry the box. I think maybe it is heavy and fragile, so I carry the box with both hands. I place the box on my kitchen counter and cut it open with scissors. Inside there are two dozen white roses. They're beautiful. Derek has attached a note telling me: Good luck with your first week at Seattle Grace.

I can't bring myself to throw the flowers away. I find a vase, put the flowers in, and then add water. The flowers are adding a nice touch to the apartment.

* * *

By the time it's next Friday - now my second week at the hospital - and Mr. Avery has been bugging me with lots of personal questions. I almost want to tell him, "Would you just shut up and let me do my job?"

But I don't. I see that an email has popped up. It's from Derek.

_Crap._

The email is asking me if I need a ride to April's photography exhibit tonight.

_Darn it!_

I had completely forgotten that Derek and I were going to this thing. I excuse myself from my desk and head into the bathroom, locking myself in a stall.

I do want to see him. It's been ten days since I last saw him. It feels like torture. My mind reminds me of all the kissing, sex, touching, and even the bondage.

I wonder if perhaps Derek has found a new woman to be his submissive. I still remember him talking about Ms. Catherine Fox, the 30-something year old woman who he lost his virginity to. Around that time, Derek also learned about the dominance/submissive thing he still practices.

Derek agrees to pick me up at six-thirty so that we will be there for seven. When I get home, I change into my dress for the occasion and hang up my clothes so they don't get wrinkled. In one hand, I'm holding a brown leather clutch.

I can still remember the torturous, sad look on his face when I told him I was leaving. It hurt me so much, but I needed to move on.

20 minutes later, I see the car outside my house and when I step inside, Derek Shepherd is sitting there. He's wearing a suit but not with a tie. I can't believe it's been ten days since I last saw him. The memories are going to start making me cry again. He asks me when the last time I ate a proper meal was. Derek is slightly upset when I tell him it's been several days. I have hardly been able to keep anything down since the breakup.

We take his car to the event. Before we head inside, Derek takes my hand and stands in front of me.

"I've missed you, Meredith," he says. I want to pull away, but I can't bring myself to. "We need to talk."

"Please, Derek, I've spent too much time crying," I reply.

"I just want to talk, that's all."

"We need to get going inside."

I let go of his hand and he follows me inside and I look around for my friend. I congratulate April on getting the show. Her photos are very stunning and looked beautiful.

Afterwards, Derek pulls me aside.

"I want you back," he says. "I've been going through a lot emotionally since you left. I just want to talk. And I also want you healthy. Promise you me you'll eat?"

"Yes, I promise," I say.

"Let's go somewhere else and talk. It's too public right now. Have dinner with me. You know, you are the only woman I've actually taken out on a date. All the others...we just went shopping for the room."

We start walking along the street and then we go into an alley. I have no idea what is going on.

I'm suddenly pushed against the wall as Derek crashes his mouth down onto mine. I don't even try to pull away. I've missed him so much. His hands are on the back of my thighs, almost on my behind.

"I want to try again, Meredith," he says. "We can talk about it over dinner; you really need to eat."

We find a small Italian restaurant and sit down at a table. We both order dinner and then after the waitress walks away, we start talking.

"I've really missed you, Derek. This time we've been apart, it's been very difficult," I continue.

"When you walked out of my apartment, it felt like the sun went down and never came back. I've spent my alone time crying, wanting you back. It was like a shock to my system. The thought of anyone else having you, it made me sad. It felt like someone stuck a knife in my chest and ripped out my heart. I have a proposition for you. For now, we'll just be vanilla. Maybe after awhile we can start adding things in. Will you accept my asking you if you want to try again?"

"What about punishments and rules?" I say. "You have those needs."

"I need you more, Meredith," he replies. "No punishments and rules."

"And no more secrets."

"No more secrets."

I think about it for a minute. I realize that I don't want to be without him any longer. Ten days was long enough for me.

I take a deep breath, then speak again. "Yes, I accept your asking. I'm willing to try again."

Derek kisses me softly.

We enjoy a lovely dinner and then he drives me back to my place.

"Go home and get some sleep. You won't get a lot with your work tomorrow," he says. "By the way, there is a special package for you. I had it shipped to your place earlier today."

I kiss him goodbye, knowing that I'm finally getting back to what I had before this mess came up. But I have no idea what the future will hold.


	12. Chapter XII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWELVE

After work on Saturday, Mr. Avery invites me to go out for drinks with the rest of the co-workers. I'm starting to wonder whether or not this is a good idea. I send Derek an email telling him where I would be. He shows up at the bar and finds my boss standing a little too close to me. I think Derek is getting a little jealous. He introduces himself as my boyfriend.

"Meredith mentioned before that she had an ex," Harper says.

"Not anymore," Derek replies.

I turn around and see this woman staring at me. She seems...lifeless. I look back at Derek, then back to where the woman was. She has disappeared. I shake off the thought of the woman. I figure that I'm never going to see this woman again. She is just a face in the crowd.

* * *

Derek and I go to the grocery store to pick up some food since I don't have a lot to eat in the apartment. After getting the necessary food, we start cooking. Once the meal has finished cooking on the stove top, I serve it on a couple of plates.

"We're going to eat a little later," he says. "Right now, there's something better than food that I want."

I wrap the plates in Saran Wrap, then put them in the fridge. After I close the door, Derek is kissing me. He pushes me into the fridge door and I hear some bottles move around.

"You know you want me, Meredith. I can feel it," Derek says.

"I want you more than anything," I say.

"Where do you want me?"

"My bed. Now."

He doesn't waste another second. Derek picks me up off the ground and carries me down the hall. Once we're in my bedroom, I am starting to go crazy. I have missed him so much and I'm glad to finally have him back. I haven't opened my curtains all day, so there's no need to worry about anyone seeing us.

He looks at me and says, "What would you like me to do now?"

"Make me yours again," I reply. "I want you to make love to me."

"How would you like it?"

"Please undress me."

"You don't need to tell me twice," he smirks.

He lifts my baby-blue shirt over my head and throws it behind him. I can't believe this is actually happening again. He is finally back in my apartment and soon to be in my arms again. I can see his eyes turning darker with arousal and a hunger for me.

The jeans are the next item of clothing to go. Then my underwear. I'm only wearing a bra. I want it off. But Derek asks me what I want next. He really wants to be going slow tonight. I can understand where he's coming from.

"Kiss me. You already know where," I say with a slight suggestive tone.

"You know that I won't pass up on that offer," he says.

Derek mouth sinks lower and lower on my body and I cry out at the feel of his mouth on my clit. It hasn't been that long, but his mouth feels amazing down there and I don't want him to stop.

"Derek, please…" I beg, tightening my grip on his hair. "Make love to me."

"I was," he says.

"Not just there. I want you in me."

"You're sure?"

"More than anything."

Suddenly, a dirty idea comes to my mind. I smirk at him. He's still dressed.

I pull away from him and then my hands are at his waist. I yank off his dress pants and underwear. They land on the floor in a pile.

"Meredith!" he says as I take him into my mouth. He is moaning, weaving his fingers through my hair. After a couple of minutes, he continues with, "Meredith, no more. I'm not gonna release into your mouth."

I reluctantly pull away and then he pushes me onto my back.

"Take your bra off. I want to see all of you," he demands.

I do so. I'm lying down and his hands are on me within seconds. His hands are like a drug, and I've gotten addicted to them. I don't want to leave him again.

"Please, please come inside me," I say.

He pushes my legs apart with his own and then enters me. I kiss him deeply and cup his face with my hands as we make love for the first time since the breakup.

* * *

When I awaken - because sex with Derek always makes me tired - my eyes are adjusting to the light. I'm still in his arms, and he makes me feel safe.

"I've missed this so much," I say. "Us being together. You lying in my bed. Me at your apartment."

"I've missed this too," he says. "I'm getting hungry. Why don't we go and cook that food we were preparing earlier?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

A half hour later, we're sitting in the living room eating chicken and white rice. Derek didn't feel up to having any vegetables tonight. He pours me a glass of white wine.

I'm wearing my purple silk robe and Derek's back in his jeans - and he's not wearing a shirt.

"Do you want some dessert?" I ask. I'm wondering if he's still hungry after chicken and rice and wine.

"Yes please. I have a craving for some ice cream. Do you have some?" he replies.

"I believe so."

I walk back into the kitchen and pull out some cookie-dough flavored ice cream.

"I have cookie-dough flavored. That's all I got. Izzie loves this stuff. She might get mad if we end up eating the whole thing," I say.

"We can always buy her another tub. There are many at the grocery store," he says.

"You're right."

"Literally the best dessert ever. Dreyer's cookie-dough ice cream and Meredith."

My mouth almost drops open in shock to what he has just said. I didn't realize that I am on the dessert menu.

He holds a spoon and the tub of ice cream in one hand and leads me to the bedroom with the other.

"I want to tie your hands," he says.

That's fine with me. As long as there's no other forms of bondage or any of that stuff Derek might still be in to. I'm pretty sure he is.

Derek opens my robe and lets it fall to the floor. He tells me to lie on my back. He uses the sash on my robe to tie my hands to the headboard. Derek gets on the bed, swings himself over my hips so that he's on top of me, and then opens the tub of ice cream. He takes out a scoop, eats it, and then takes another one. Just when I think he's going to let me eat it, he puts it in his mouth.

"Not fair!" I tease him.

Derek lets me eat the third scoop. It's cold and delicious. I haven't had that flavor in a while. He takes out another scoop and lets it melt a bit. Then he lets it fall off the spoon and onto my body.

He licks the ice cream off me, leaving my body with longing and desire.

"I like my dessert when it's on you. It tastes so much better than normal," he says.

I shiver a little.

"Is it cold?" Derek asks me.

_Yes, but it's also somewhat torture. The way you drip it onto me and then taste it drives me crazy,_ I think.

He continues scooping ice cream out of the tub and letting it drip onto me. My body shivers slightly every time I feel the cold stuff falling on me. Derek continues to lap it up and - of course - continues to drive me crazy.

I hear the sound of a wrapper being ripped apart as he pulls out a condom. I still have my hands tied to the headboard. When he enters me, it's a feeling that I never want to forget. He can be rough, but he can also be tender and caring whenever we make love.

"You are mine, Meredith," he says. "Every part of you."

"Yes, I am yours," I say.

A little while later, I'm lying in my bed with Derek's arms wrapped around me. He has untied my hands and I'm snuggled into his chest.

The package he has dropped off in my apartment is an IPad. It has a library full of my favorite books and songs. I love the IPad.

I tell him about the strange woman I saw outside the bar. He knows who she is.

"That is Addison Montgomery. She was one of my former submissives. She was hospitalized recently for trying to kill herself. Her husband died in a car accident five weeks ago."

He takes a deep breath and I know that he wants to say something. But he wasn't telling me what it was.

"What happened?" I ask.

"She applied for a concealed weapons permit and received it. She can carry a gun if she manages to get one," he says. "Until this whole situation is cleared up, you will have a security detail going with you whenever you leave the house. I don't know if she will come after you or me or both of us. I want you safe."


	13. Chapter XIII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It's been two days since I found out who the mystery woman was. And now, Derek and I are arguing. We are having this argument over the fact that Ms. Fox owns a salon, and that's where I'm getting my hair cut for a party I'm going to tonight. My hair is basically the same length, but the split ends have been removed. But now, our argument is no longer important.

I'm against the wall, my fingers in Derek's hair. His mouth is on mine and his hands are reaching for my shirt. I can already feel his hardness pressing into me.

"Uh, Derek?" Alex asks, coming into the kitchen. I flush red with embarrassment.

"Sorry, my friend," Derek replies. "Any more information on Addison?"

"No, but we're looking for her. We'll make sure that she will be found and given the proper treatment that she needs. I promise."

Alex's face is also flushed red because he had seen Derek and I making out. Now, Alex is grabbing his coat and shortly after, he leaves the apartment, leaving Derek and I alone.

"I want you," he says. He grabs the bottom of my turquoise shirt, lifts it over my head, and throws it behind him. Then he unclasps my bra and pushes me down onto the bed. I can't stop kissing him. My fingers weave into his hair and I feel his lips on the side of my neck. His hot breath travels over my skin and then I feel his tongue going behind my ear to lick the shell. I moan softly at the feel.

His fingers are reaching for my pants, quickly undoing the button and pulling them off me. Next to go are my white lace underwear. Derek takes one of his fingers and traces my clit with it. Then he slips his finger inside me, adding a second one not too long after.

"You're incredibly wet for me, Meredith," he said, curling them inside me. "Let me hear what I do to you."

I moan, arching my back at the feeling of his fingers inside me. I know that no one else is inside the apartment at the moment, so I am free to scream as loud as I want.

"Oh, Derek, I'm gonna cum," I scream as I feel my orgasm rip through me a couple of minutes later. He licks my juices off his fingers.

"You taste good," he replies, then pulls out a condom from the bedside drawer. He opens the packet and I slide it onto him. Once the condom is in place, he pulls me on top of him. "I want to see all of you like this when we have sex."

I sink down on him, causing both of us to moan as I cup his face and kiss him. He grips my hips, then cups my breasts.

"Baby, that's it, take it. Take it all," he orders me. I throw my head back, interlacing my fingers with his as we have hot, passionate sex. When we both have cum, he slides out of me and removes the condom, tossing it in the trash, along with the wrapper. "We've got to go get ready. My mother have invited us to her annual dinner party and it starts in two hours. My hairstylist is going to do your hair for tonight. I have some dresses in the closet that I think you will enjoy very much."

Derek walks out of the room, leaving me alone. I hear the water running not too long after, and I realize that he's gone into the shower. I walk over to the closet and look at the beautiful dresses that Derek has selected for me. I settle on a blue short-sleeved dress that goes to the floor. But I decide to wear a little black lace bra and underwear underneath to get my boyfriend in a good mood later.

When he comes out of the shower, he's still naked. I smirk at him, taking in his good looks. He holds out a set of metal balls.

"You're gonna wear these tonight," he says.

"If you think I will be wearing those in my behind, you can think again, mister," I reply.

"They go somewhere else. But you need to get them wet first. Put them in your mouth."

I take the balls and get them wet with my saliva. Then Derek takes them and slowly inserts them inside me. Immediately, I feel pleasure from the balls.

He lets his fingers brush over my clit, adding more pleasure. "This is mine."

I moan, then feel some of the pleasure leave when his hand moves away. "I got you a silver eye mask to wear to the party. It is a masquerade event."

I take the mask with me and then we leave the apartment to head to the parking lot. The drive to Carolyn's secondary home does not take long and I put my eye mask on before getting out of the car.

"You look stunning, Ms. Grey," he says to me.

"So do you, Mr. Shepherd," I reply.

When we step inside the large courtyard, I'm awestruck by the beauty of the place. Blossoming flowers and trees are everywhere. After entering the house, I take in all the details. The place is absolutely gorgeous. I begin to wonder what it would be like to live in such a big and beautiful home.

We make our way through the crowd of people to our table, where Carolyn is waiting for us. She gives me a hug.

It turns out that tonight's masquerade event is a ball to raise money for various charities. Derek reminds me that he had put a few hundred dollars in my bank account earlier, and I decide to use it on one of the auction items. He apparently goes to Bali when he has vacation time, and I decide to use the money that he gave me for a few days there.

I shout out the money, and no one wants to bid higher, so I win. I'm happy that I get to spend time with him in Bali, but he is giving me a flirty look. All eyes are on the stage at the moment. Derek catches me off guard by taking my hand and placing it over his rock hard erection. I smirk at him, then start teasing him by playing with his hardness, causing him to bite his lip so that he doesn't moan in front of everyone. When everyone is distracted, we sneak off to his bedroom, where he tells me that he has never brought a date in his room before.

"I need to get you out of that dress, Meredith," he says, his voice thick with arousal. "But keep that mask on."

Derek pulls me close to him and pulls down the zipper. The dress falls off and I'm standing in the lingerie I had put on just before we left.

He uses his tie to restrain my wrists behind me.

"Is this okay with you?" he asks, sliding down my underwear.

"Please," I beg.

Derek gets down on his knees and starts licking me. Immediately, I moan his name, feeling pleasure spread throughout my body.

"You taste like heaven, Meredith," he continues as he licks me to a climax, then grabs me by my wrists and pushes me onto the bed. He undoes his pants, slides on a condom, takes the balls out, and then buries himself inside me. "So tight for me, just the way I like it."

I moan his name, my breathing quickening as he speeds up. Before I know it, we both have cum and we're getting ourselves ready to go back to the party. He licks the balls, getting my juices all over his tongue, and then puts the toy into his pocket.

When we arrive, food is being served. I am so hungry that my mouth waters at the sight of everything. I eat a full plate of food, along with a slice of apple pie for dessert. I suddenly realize that I need to go to the restroom.

I tell Derek that I will be right back and head off down the hall to the bathroom. After relieving myself, I wash my hands, and as I'm drying them, I hear someone call my name.

I turn around and see someone wearing a white mask. They remove it.

_Crap._

It's Ms. Fox. What does she want with me?

"Meredith," Catherine says. "Your love for Derek is not going to last long."

"Yeah, like you have any say," I snap. "You're the one who turned him into who he is."

I quickly head back to the dinner party and take my seat next to Derek.

"You okay?" he asks, noticing that my body language is different from earlier.

"Ms. Catherine Fox showed up," I reply.

"I didn't even know she would be here. I'm going to have a nice chat with her tomorrow. She is the past. You are the present, and the future."

I smile, feeling so happy and safe with him.

Derek and I decide to head home. I am going to be sleeping at his place tonight, but when we get into the parking lot, I gasp in horror.

My car is destroyed with slashed tires and white paint.


	14. Chapter XIV

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Derek Shepherd, tell me what's going on!" I say when he starts getting out of the car.

"No, I want you to stay here," he replies, picking up his phone and dialing someone. After about ten minutes, the police arrive. Then Derek opens the car door and tells me that it is safe for me to exit the car. I take his hand and we walk into the elevator. We reach the apartment quickly, then discover that the patio door is open. Derek realizes that his apartment isn't safe, so he tells Alex that we are leaving. Derek calls his housekeeper and instructs her not to return until Addison has been found.

"Tell me where we're going," I say as my boyfriend starts throwing clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag. He allows to change out of my dress before we have to leave. I throw on some dress pants and a black top.

"We're going away from here for a bit. Addison is mentally unstable, and she might have a gun. I don't want you getting hurt," Derek replies. His phone starts buzzing and then he rolls his eyes. "What do you want, Catherine?"

I feel my breathing slow down. What did Ms. Fox want with him now?

"Catherine, leave her alone," Derek snaps. "I'm serious. You don't come anywhere near Meredith. If you do, there will be consequences. Understand? Good." He closes his phone and then it rings again. But this time it's Alex. "Oh good. We'll be there shortly. Thank you. Bye."

"What?" I ask.

"Alex has booked us a hotel room," Derek continues. "It's in his name. It is temporary, but it's necessary for you to remain safe. If something happened to you, Meredith, I'd never forgive myself. You are my whole world. I don't want to be alone anymore."

He cups my face and kisses me, his tongue entering my mouth. I moan softly, kissing him back. Then we leave the apartment and head down to the parking garage. We both get in the car and Alex drives us to the hotel. Derek and I enter the lobby. He gets us checked in, and then we walk to our room.

"We're alone," Derek says into my ear. He licks the shell, and I start turning into a puddle of Jello from his touch alone. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Your shirt is the first piece of clothing to go," I say, unbuttoning it and tossing it aside, biting the lower part of his pecs softly. He moans at the feel of me on him.

"You have an insatiable appetite, Ms. Grey," he teases me, then unbuttons my grey dress pants and leaves me standing in my shirt and underwear. "I don't want to lose you again."

"And you won't."

Soon we're both naked and he pins me to the bed, his hands touching me all over. I can't get enough of this.

"Let me in, Meredith," he says, sliding inside me after he puts a condom on. I wrap my legs around his waist, cupping his face. "You are my therapy. I don't want anything else."

I tilt my head to the side to allow him full access to my neck. He kisses me softly there, making me moan as he speeds up his movements. Before I know it, my orgasm goes through me as Derek moans my name, signaling that he has released into the condom.

He tells me that we are going to enjoy some fresh air today, and where we would be going would be safe. But first, we both need to shower.

My hair is all messed up from the amazing sex Derek and I just had. He loves it when my hair looks different that it normally does, and he kisses me passionately, grabbing my behind and pulling me close to him.

"I can't get enough of you," he continues. "We need to shower and then get going. Later, we'll have lots of alone time." We both head into the shower, get clean, and are ready to leave on our road trip - wherever we're going.

* * *

Derek tells me that we are taking a quick detour before we get to our destination. I am quite surprised when he pulls up to a car dealership. We spend about 15 minutes there, and he buy me another $20,000 car that is very safe. He tells me it is his new graduation present to me since my other car has been trashed by Addison, who is still out there somewhere. The car will be driven to my apartment in a few days.

We then stop at a steakhouse and enjoy a delicious dinner of rib-eye steaks and mashed potatoes, as well as us sharing a bottle of white wine. We decide to take the rest of the wine with us and enjoy it later.

Fifteen minutes later, we're down at the marina and I'm taken aback by the view. The ocean looks absolutely beautiful and the boat I'm getting on is breathtaking as well.

An old friend of Derek's is going to be on the boat with us as well. While he makes sure the gears and controls are working properly, Derek takes me into the bedroom and there, his hands travel up my sides and settle on my breasts. He squeezes them.

"Mine," he says. "These are mine forever."

"They are yours."

We head back up to the deck and take Derek's boat out to sea for about an hour. We come back to land and park the boat back at the deck for a bit. The friend says that he is going to go eat some lunch on Whidbey Island. Once we're alone, Derek leads me downstairs into the cabin.

"I need to see you naked, now," he orders, stripping me of my clothes. Before I know it, I'm completely naked as he strips himself of his clothes. He looks so ravishing when he lies down on the bed, nude. Derek immediately pulls me on top of him, taking one of my breasts in his mouth. I throw my head back and moan as he takes his time with my breast, then moves onto the other one. I kiss down his chest and start licking him.

"Oh, Meredith," he moans, bucking his hips slightly to allow me to take him deeper in my mouth. He tastes like heaven, and I won't ever get tired of the taste. I keep going, wanting him to cum in my mouth, but he pulls me away and kisses my lips. Derek pulls out a condom from the nightstand and asks me to roll it onto him. I lick my lips and slide the condom on him. He takes my hand and intertwines my fingers with his as I hover over him, then sink down.

"The pleasure you give me, Meredith…" Derek says, breathing starting to quicken as he moves inside me. He grips my hips to push me down on him even more. "I love you."

Did I just hear him right? Did he just say that he loved me?

"I love you, Meredith Grey," Derek continues. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Derek Shepherd," I say.

I rock my hips back and forth to get as much pleasure as possible. The small ocean waves do crash into the boat, but it's only a gentle movement.

We both say each other's names as we release together.


	15. Chapter XV

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Derek drives me back to his apartment the next morning. When we get there, I want him more than anything and I'm hoping that he's feeling the same way.

He asks me if I want to play pool. I say yes and follow him to his game room.

"Proposition," I say. "If I win, you take me back to the playroom. And if you win, you decide what the prize is."

"Deal," he replies.

We play the game and in the end, I've lost. On my last shot, the cue ball fell into one of the side pockets along with the final ball.

"I'm going to spank you, then take you right on this table," Derek says. "You don't need a safeword this time. Just tell me to stop and I will. I promise."

He brings his hand down on my behind. I gasp in pleasure. When he gets to five, I tell him to stop. Derek immediately pulls his hand away.

I'm reaching under my dress to pull down my lace thong and once it's on the floor, I kick it off to the side. Derek drops his pants, slips on a condom, then buries himself inside me. I push back against him, which causes him to groan in pleasure.

"Derek, please!" I beg, gripping the table. "Go harder."

He grips my hips and pulls me back against him, and all I can do is moan and scream his name. The pleasure he gives me is unlike anything else.

It isn't long before I feel him getting close, and I've already had two orgasms, getting the feeling that I might have a third one.

"Meredith!" Derek says before emptying himself into the condom. "That was amazing, baby."

"I love you," I reply after he pulls out. I kiss him deeply.

"I love you too."

* * *

A few days later, it's near the end of the workday and I'm reviewing some case files in one of the conference rooms when I notice Harper walk over to me. My boss makes me uncomfortable at times since he's asked me out for drinks a few nights since I started working at the hospital.

He puts one hand on the back of the chair and a couple of his fingers are on my back. I wonder why he's doing it. I sit up in my chair so that I'm not against the back of it.

"I just wanted to come over and congratulate you on your hard work," he says. "I think the least I could do is take you out for a drink." He brushes a piece of my hair behind my ear and I shudder inside. I realize that I don't like his touch.

"I can't tonight. I've got plans. Going to spend time with my boyfriend," I tell my boss.

"Oh? What's his last name?"

I clear my throat. "Shepherd. Derek Shepherd."

"The Derek Shepherd? The neurosurgeon that works here?"

"Yes."

"Well, he's a lucky guy. Goodnight, Meredith. See you in the morning."

* * *

A week later, Derek and I are going out to dinner and I remember that I need to pick up a few things from my apartment.

"You sure you don't want me to come in?" he asks me.

"It's okay, baby," I say. "I'll be five minutes."

I unlock the door and step inside my apartment, setting the keys on the kitchen counter. I look up and almost scream.

Standing in my kitchen and holding a revolver is Addison Montgomery.

* * *

In this moment, I'm wondering how I should react. My heart is beating fast in my chest, and sweat starts forming on my forehead.

"Hello, Addison," I say. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," she replies. "Sir allows you to call you by his first name. I wasn't allowed to."

"Derek told me about what happened to you. I am so sorry."

Addison points the revolver at me. "You have what I don't."

"I'm not one of his submissives," I say.

"He lets you sleep in his bed. He's never let any of us do that."

"How do you know about that?"

"I've been following you around for a while now."

All of a sudden, Derek opens the door and he's in shock.

"Addison," he says. "Come here."

I see her respond immediately to his tone. The way he's talking to her is a voice he uses only when he's being dominant or is in the room with all the sex toys. I want to say something, but my mouth can't seem to form words.

"Kneel," he continues. The gun falls out of her hand as she kneels to the ground. He calls Alex - who is down the street - and tells him to come take me back to the apartment. When Alex arrives, I follow him outside, but then I start walking away.

"Don't look for me; I need space!" I shout at Alex. He stays where he is and I walk off down the street, needing some time to myself. As I continue walking, I let the tears fall. Seeing Derek with his ex-submissive, it makes me realize that I will never be good enough for him; that I will never be as submissive as Addison was. I continue to walk throughout the city for a good two hours until I finally flag down a taxi to take me back to Derek's apartment. When I take the elevator up to his place and enter through the open front door, I see my boyfriend on the phone with someone. He is clearly upset.

"Where have you been, Meredith?!" Derek demands, anger present in his tone. "I had sent people out to look for you. If anything had happened to you…"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Shepherd, I don't always like to do what I'm told to do."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I saw the way you acted with Addison. I went out for a walk and realized that I would not be able to give you that kind of submission that you want and need."

"Addison had a gun in her hand and could have shot you. I would have done anything to make sure that didn't happen."

"Is she here? Is she in the apartment?"

"No, of course not, Meredith. Addison's now in the psych ward getting the treatment she needs. Her weapons permit was revoked and she's not allowed to have a gun on her ever again."

"I want to believe you." I turn around and start to walk towards the front door.

"Don't leave me, Meredith, I need you," Derek begs me. "I love you."

"I love you too, but I'm not good enough for you."

"Please." Derek then gets down on his knees in front of me and puts his hands on his thighs. He looks down at the ground.

"What are you doing?" I ask. But he does not answer, and instead keeps looking down at the ground. I gasp when I realize that he's being submissive to me.


	16. Chapter XVI

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"Please, Derek, don't do this," I say. "I'm not going to run. I was going to close the door." But he still remains silent. "I became scared after seeing you with Addison. I'm afraid that you'll leave me one day…"

"I'm not," Derek replies. "I'm never going to leave you. Please don't leave me."

"I won't," I say, kneeling down so that I was at his height.

"Marry me."

I'm in total shock. Did he really just ask me to marry him?

"Derek, I've had a rough day. I also happened to be at gunpoint by one of your crazy ex-submissives and you're scared of losing me. Plus, that wasn't the most romantic of proposals."

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Meredith. Before you, I would never have considered marriage."

I feel my heart swoon at his confession.

"Is your answer a no?" he continues.

"It's not a no, but it's not a yes either," I say. "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"I can live with that, Meredith."

We walk over to the kitchen and have a quick snack.

"So after I left, what happened with Addison?" I ask.

Derek looks guilty in that moment. I immediately become suspicious. He clears his throat before talking.

"We talked for a bit, and then I gave her a bath. She was dirty. I think she's been living out on the streets for a while and hadn't had a proper shower or bath in a while." At that moment, I felt tears forming in my eyes. It was bad enough seeing Derek act dominant with her, but helping her bathe? It was too much. "Meredith, please, look at me. I only bathed her because she was a broken soul. It meant nothing."

"Do you still have any feelings towards her?"

"No, I don't," he continues. "Please. She was damaged and needed help. After the bath, I put on the clothes she had been wearing before and then took her to the psych ward. Then I came back home and started wondering where you were since Alex told me you didn't go to the apartment."

"I've had enough of this crap for one day. Leave me alone, Derek, I need some space."

I walk down the hall and close the bedroom door behind me, flopping down on the bed and letting my tears fall.

* * *

A while later, Derek knocks on the door and I tell him that he can come in. He sees my tear-streaked face and pulls me into a hug.

"Please, Meredith, don't cry," he says, holding me close. Once I've let all my tears out, he carries me back to bed and holds me close to him and we both fall asleep. A few hours later, I awake to see Derek moving around a lot in his sleep and he's muttering what sounds like, "Don't leave me".

"Babe! I'm here!" I say, trying to shake him awake.

His eyes open and they are looking around the room. When his eyes settle on me, he breathes a sigh of relief.

"You left...you left me," he says.

"Oh, Derek," I reply. "You don't have to be scared. I'm not leaving you. I love you."

"I still think that one day you will."

"I promise you. I am not going anywhere. I love you so much."

I kiss him, cupping his face and he moans softly when I start to nibble on his lip.

"I love you too," he continues. I start kissing the side of his neck gently and he gasps in pleasure. "Oh, Meredith, don't stop. I want you."

"I want you too."

"Do you really want this? You can always say no."

"Yes, I really want this." I start leaving little bite marks all over his chest as I move further down his body. "I am yours. You have my heart and soul until the end of time."

I take him in my mouth and begin sucking, feeling him react to the pleasure I'm giving him.

"Meredith, please, keep going," he moans, putting his fingers in my hair. "It feels so good."

I continue for another two minutes, and then he pulls me away and kisses me. He grabs a condom from the nightstand and tears open the wrapper. I slide the condom on him and then straddle his waist.

I slowly sink down on him until he's fully inside me and I lean down to kiss him.

"What have you done to me, Meredith Grey?" he asks as he thrusts up into me.

"I should be asking you the same question, Mr. Shepherd," I say, smirking at him.

After we make love, I fall back to sleep and when I wake up, I look at the alarm clock and realize that I am going to be late for work.

"Crap!" I shout, immediately getting out of the bed and heading over to the shower. I take a quick shower and then walk over to the closet and get dressed. Derek is now awake and watching me put my clothes on. "I'm sorry, baby, I have to get to work. Mr. Avery is not going to be happy with me."

"You sure I can't get you to stay?" Derek asks.

"No, not this morning. I really need to get going to work. Tonight, baby." I kiss him goodbye, grab my things, and walk out of the apartment to the parking lot, where Alex is waiting for me. He drives me to Seattle Grace.

* * *

When I finally get to work, Mr. Avery is very upset. He glares at me.

"What time do you think it is?" he snaps.

I swallow nervously before speaking. "I'm sorry. I overslept. I'll get to work right away."

"Just don't let it happen again. Bring me a coffee and then start working."

I find a pot of coffee in my co-worker's office that's just finished brewing and I find a mug and pour coffee for my boss. I bring it into his office and he barely acknowledges me.

_Why is he so upset?_ I think. _I've never been late to work. He can't possibly be that angry at me for one time, can he?_

I take my lunch break a few hours later and while I eat my lunch, I call Derek and tell him what's been going on this morning.

"So my boss is being super annoying today," I say to my boyfriend. "He's been upset with me all morning and I told him I wouldn't be late again. I don't understand why he's so mad."

"He's probably just having a stressful day. Don't let him get to you, love. Just think, tonight, you will be here with me and we'll be having some fun in bed."

"I like the sound of that," I say.

"What time should I come get you from work?"

"Six-thirty," I reply.

"Alright, baby, I'll see you then. I have a meeting to go to, so I'll talk to you later. I love you."

"I love you too."

When the phone call is over, my mind flashes back to last night, when Derek asked me to marry him.

_Could I really marry him? Spend the rest of my life with him?_

_I know that I love Derek more than anyone. I care about him. I've never felt such a strong connection with anyone else other than him._


	17. Chapter XVII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A couple of hours before I my shift at work is over, my phone rings. I can see from the Caller ID that Carolyn is calling.

"Hello?" I say.

"Oh hi dear! I've been wanting to talk to you. I'm trying to throw a surprise party for Derek on Saturday since it's his birthday. I'm officially extending the invitation to you."

"Thanks, Carolyn, I'll definitely be there."

"It's not going to be a big surprise party or anything, but Derek doesn't really celebrate his birthday. I just want to do something nice for him."

"He's going to love it."

We say goodbye, and then I walk back over to my desk to continue working the rest of my shift.

* * *

It is currently six-ten, twenty minutes before the end of my workday. I'm looking around in the vending machine for a granola bar, which is the one snack I eat during the day. I look up and Mr. Avery is staring at me. I can tell he's angry.

"We need to talk," he says. I am nervous but follow him to his office and then he slams the door shut. I know that everyone else has gone home for the night and that Derek is outside waiting for me.

"What is it, Sir?" I ask.

"When I first hired you, I thought you had great potential. But I've noticed that you've been putting in less effort lately. Is your boyfriend distracting you?"

I'm feeling terrified. I have no idea what Mr. Avery wants, but I can see that he's eying me up and down. I'm wearing my light blue scrubs, which is what every intern wears.

"Sir, your cab to the airport is going to be here soon and your necessary documents are in my locker. I need to go get them," I say, preparing to leave the room. But suddenly, he traps me against the closed door and puts a hand on it. I feel unsure of what will happen next. "What is your issue? If you have a problem with me, you should talk to HR about it."

"HR won't need to hear about this. This is between you and me."

I can smell the alcohol on his breath and it starts making me nauseous.

He continues speaking. "My boss wanted to hire someone else for your position, but I saw potential for you. Now, you can either make me happy or I'm going to start looking for secrets about Mr. Shepherd. Why do you devote all your attention to him and barely any to me?"

"Um, Sir, I'd like to go home now," I say, really feeling uncomfortable.

"I just think that if you're going to start sleeping your way through Seattle Grace, then you should do it with someone who knows what they're doing. Admit it, Meredith. You want me."

"No, I don't!" I exclaim. "I love Derek."

"Oh, you love me too. All those clothes you wear under your scrubs, you were trying to lead me on." I fight the urge to vomit right there on the floor. "I'm way better at sex than he is." He's talking right next to my ear and I feel his knuckles brush my cheek. I turn my head to the side. "Mr. Shepherd has no idea what he's doing."

"Please stop," I say.

"I'll make you cum like no one else ever has."

I twist his finger and then knee him in the groin. I open the door and make my way out of the hospital and into my boyfriend's waiting arms.

"Meredith? What's going on?!" Derek asks me, noticing my worried facial expression.

"My boss...he tried to assault me," I say.

"I'll kill him." Derek starts to leave, but I tell him no.

"Please, don't leave me alone," I continue. He pulls me into a hug and then dials a friend in security to escort Mr. Avery out of the hospital and have him fired immediately after explaining what happened to me.

* * *

Alex drives Derek and I back to the apartment while we wait for news on Harper. At the apartment, Derek holds me close and cups my cheek.

"I was so worried," he says. "If something had happened to you, I would have never forgiven myself."

"I'm okay, love. I'm here. I'm fine. I kicked him in the groin."

"Very smart," my boyfriend says.

"I took some self-defense classes as an undergraduate in case something would happen."

He kisses me softly, then gets up off the couch. "Want some wine?"

"Sure."

While he heads off to the kitchen, I stand up and stretch my muscles. I walk down the hall and find the playroom door unlocked. I step inside and notice a metal object on the nightstand. It looks similar to a bullet.

"Anything peaking your interest?" Derek asks me. I turn around and he's standing in the doorway with two glasses of wine in his hands.

"That metal thing on the nightstand," I say, pointing to the object.

"Oh, that's a butt plug."

"Why do you have those?"

"I bought it for you, love. You'll get pleasure from it."

The object looks somewhat frightening, and I'm not sure if I want it in my behind. I put the object back in the drawer and look over towards the shelf with all the crops and paddles and spot a metal bar with cuffs. I grab it and show it to him.

"It's called a spreader bar. But not in here. In my bed," he says.

"Why, babe?"

"The last time we were in here, you left me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Derek. You have me forever."

He takes the bar from my hand and then tells me to follow him to his bedroom. He tosses the bar on the bed and then pushes me down onto the soft, comfortable mattress.

"Do you want me to touch you, babe?" I ask.

"Please," he says. "Your touch feels so good."

I undo the buttons on his shirt and push it off his shoulders. Then I undo his pants and toss them next to the shirt.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me, Meredith Grey?" he asks me as his underwear are pulled down, leaving him completely naked.

"I think I have an idea," I say, grabbing his erection and stroking it. He hisses in pleasure and then bites down on his lip.

I surprise him by taking his hardness in my mouth and stroking it at the same time.

He gently grips my hair and starts muttering incoherently.

"Meredith, please!" he says. "Don't stop."

My eyes look up at him as I continue using my mouth and hands. It appears to put him in an even better mood and I can tell that he's getting closer.

"I'm gonna cum," he continues. "Please, Meredith."

"I want to taste you," I say. "Cum for me, baby."

He screams in pleasure as he cums in my mouth and I moan at his taste. He pulls me up and kisses me.

"You are naughty, Ms. Grey. Now, if I remember, you taste even better."

I become even wetter at the thought of his mouth on me. He pushes me onto my back and then puts my ankles in the spreader bar's cuffs.

"You can always say no," Derek says.

"I want this," I reply.

He picks up the bar and pulls it apart somewhat so that I'm completely exposed. Derek starts kissing my inner thighs and I'm squirming on the bed.

"Please, baby," I continue. "I need you."

He slides two fingers inside me, and he immediately curls them.

"You're already so wet for me, baby," Derek says, putting his fingers in his mouth and getting my wetness off. "And you taste fantastic."

He immediately puts his mouth on my clit and I gasp. With the spreader bar preventing me from closing my legs, I feel more pleasure.

I put my hands in his hair, telling him to keep going. He wraps his arms around my legs and continues his assault on me with his mouth.

"Derek, please," I beg. "Please, I need it."

"I know you do, baby," he continues. Within a minute, the orgasm takes over me and I say his name as I cum hard. "Seeing you cum is one of the hottest things I've ever seen. It's so sexy." He brushes his fingers over my sensitive clit and then he says, "I want every inch of you, Meredith, when you're ready. You are mine."

"I am yours."


	18. Chapter XVIII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

When I step into work, I see one of my coworkers, Cristina Yang, waiting by Harper's office for me.

"Mr. Avery has left the hospital unexpectedly," Cristina says. "We want you to take over his job as a board member while you also complete your internship."

"Me?" I say. I'm in complete shock.

"Harper saw a lot of potential in you and spoke highly of you. We believe you're going to be a great board member."

"I've only been here a very short time…"

"Meredith, we all believe in you."

My mind is going crazy. I immediately call Derek and tell him the news. He's shocked as well, but is very happy for me.

* * *

That night, Derek takes me out to dinner to celebrate my job promotion and as soon as we're in the apartment's parking lot, he tells me that he wants to have sex with me on every surface in his apartment.

As soon as we get inside, he's kissing me deeply and leading me over to the kitchen counter, where he sets me down and is immediately taking off my new lace thong.

"Please, Derek, I need you!" I say as I wrap my legs around his waist and keeping him close to the counter. He pulls down the zipper of his dress pants and undoes the button and then buries himself inside me.

"You are mine," he growls in my ear. "Every part of you is mine."

"I am yours," I continue. "I will always be yours."

We make love on the counter a total of three times and then we fall asleep in his bed. When he wakes up in the morning, he tells me he has to go out of town for the day to meet with some other doctors. I decide to go out and get him his birthday present for the party tomorrow night.

* * *

That evening, I come back home from work and shopping to find the apartment empty. Derek is nowhere to be seen. I send him several texts and call him twice, but he's not picking up. I hear the apartment door open and see Alex, Izzie, and Carolyn walking in. They all have a sad look on their faces.

"Meredith...Derek never came back from his trip," Alex says. "His car went missing."

"Oh no," I say. "It can't be."

"Rescue crews are looking for him and his car, but right now all we can do is wait and hope."

_He'll come back,_ I tell myself. _He's got to come back._

We all wait around in the apartment for over two hours before the door opens and Derek steps inside.

His mother is the first person to give him a hug. Alex and Izzie go next. Derek tells them that he wants to say hi to me and they leave the apartment.

I'm sitting on the couch crying and he comes over to me.

"Hey, Meredith, I'm here," he says. "I'm alive. I'm here."

"I was so scared, baby," I reply. He wraps his arms around me. "I thought you were gone forever."

"I'm never going to leave you. They found my car in a ditch and found that parts of the controls had been tampered with. Someone deliberately tried to have me killed. But the police will find whoever did this and make sure they don't try anything ever again. But Meredith, I am here. Please, look at me."

I look at him, my eyes still full of tears. He uses his finger to wipe them away and kisses me passionately. I reach into my jacket pocket and give him a small wrapped box. He opens it and finds a keychain with the word 'Seattle' on it and gives me a confused look.

"On the back of the keychain is my answer to your marriage proposal," I say. He turns it over and see the word 'yes' written on the back.

He looks back at me and smiles. He then pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeply.

* * *

Derek takes my hand and leads me down to his bedroom.

"I want to make love to my fiancée," he tells me. The desire begins to pool in my belly.

"Please," I say. He pushes me onto the bed and immediately, his hands are running up and down my sides. Derek gets on top of me and pulls down the yoga pants I had been wearing since I had got home.

"No underwear, Ms. Grey, I like it," he continues.

"I won't be Ms. Grey much longer." He grins at me and then starts nibbling on my inner thighs, causing me to moan and squirm. "Ahhh, Derek, please, I need you."

"And you have me."

Derek takes off my shirt and unclasps my bra, tossing it aside as well.

"You're so beautiful, Meredith," he says, placing his hands on my breasts and squeezing them. "Mine."

"Yours."

He starts leaving small hickeys over both of my breasts and then slides a finger inside me. I beg him for more, so he inserts a second one and curls them while hitting my sweet spot.

I arch my back and push my pelvis towards him, wanting his fingers deeper inside me.

"Let me hear you, baby," he says.

"Derek, please!" I beg. "I want to cum."

He moves his fingers faster inside me and it's not long before my legs are quivering and I cum hard, screaming his name.

Derek pins my wrists to the bed and starts kissing my neck, making me moan. He drops his pants and enters me, thrusting hard.

"I love you," I say. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," is his reply. He continues his torturous, slow rhythm, making me feel even more pleasure.

My insides tighten up around him within thirty seconds and I feel an orgasm take over me. But Derek keeps going and I don't want him to stop. I feel myself cum again and tighten up almost instantly when I feel him getting close.

I kiss him deeply when I feel him empty himself inside me and I cry out as I feel a third orgasm wash over me.

"I can't believe we're getting married," I say after we're both lying on the bed, our fingers intertwined.

"I can't either, considering that I never thought I would ever get married. But then you came into my life and changed everything. And now, I can't imagine my life without you."

"I want to go to the playroom," I continue. "As a birthday present for you."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure. I'm ready."

* * *

Ten minutes later, we're standing outside the playroom door. Derek asks me again if I'm sure that I want to be here, and I tell him that I am sure.

He opens the door and I step inside. I lie on the bed and he pulls out an object from the nightstand. At first, I think that it is a butt plug, but Derek explains to me that it's a vibrator meant to go inside me.

He covers the toy in lube and slowly slides it inside me. He rubs it against my sweet spot, which is still sensitive from our lovemaking. Derek turns on the vibrator to the first setting and immediately, I feel the vibrations.

But then, he turns off the vibrator and leaves me in a state of wanting more.

"Derek, what are you doing? Don't stop!" I say.

"I like teasing you," he replies.

"Please, I need it!"

He takes pity on me and uses the vibrator on me until I come hard.

* * *

At Carolyn's house, the surprise party turned out to be a success. However, there was just one slight problem. Catherine Fox had showed up unannounced. I was both surprised and angry to see her at the house. I was hoping that Carolyn had not invited her.

Derek announces to everyone that I said yes to his marriage proposal and that we would start planning our wedding soon.

I excuse myself to go off to the bathroom and before I can even go inside, Catherine stands in the doorway.

"You're not right for him," she says.

"Excuse me, but my relationship with Derek is none of your business."

"He's not capable of marriage. You're just the next one in a long line of submissives."

"Again, what I do with Derek is none of your business! He and I love each other and we are getting married."

"If you even think for a second that he will be happy with a slut like you..."

I have been enjoying drinking a glass of champagne but now, my anger has boiled over to the point where I splash the rest of the drink in her face.

"What are you doing here, Catherine?" Derek asks, now standing next to me.

"She's not right for you," was Catherine's response. She used her hands to wipe some of the champagne off of her face.

"You're insane if you think you know what's right for me. All you did was teach me how to have sex. Meredith taught me how to love."

"Get out," Carolyn says, walking up to us. "Get out of my house and stay away from my son and future daughter-in-law."

Catherine immediately grabs her purse and leaves.

* * *

"I want to show you something," Derek says, taking my hand. He leads me outside to the gazebo, which has already been decorated with candles and flower petals.

"Oh, Derek, it's beautiful," I say. I notice that he's not next to me. I turn around and see that he's down on one knee. A small box in his hand and I see the ring inside.

"Marry me, Meredith Grey. Share my life with me. I love you," he continues.

I smile at him. "Yes, a million times yes!"

He stands up and slides the ring on my finger and then kisses me deeply.


	19. Chapter XIX

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I'm sitting in a chair, staring out towards the beautiful, crystal clear waters of Mallorca. I look over at my husband - it still is hard to believe that I'm married - who is currently snoozing on his chair.

He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, looking there is no stress in his life. But he's a neurosurgeon, so there is always going to be stress.

I start flashing back to our wedding day and it gives me a nice image to dream about when I'm snoozing on the beach.

...

_"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the reverend says. "You may kiss the bride."_

_I smile at Derek as he kisses me and all of our friends and family are applauding for us. We head out to the dance floor and he holds me close to him._

_"You look absolutely stunning in that dress, Mrs. Shepherd. Later, I'll have fun taking it off you," he says quietly into my ear._

_I smirk back at him, then continue dancing with him as Izzie comes over to us._

_"Meredith! You look so amazing," Izzie says. I blow my husband a kiss and then give my best friend a hug. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Amazing," I reply. "I love him so much."_

_"I'm so happy for you, Meredith Just remember, if he hurts you, I'll hurt him back for you."_

...

"MEREDITH!" someone shouts. "What do you think you're doing?"

I wake up from my peaceful snooze and look around, trying to figure out who had spoken to me. I see Derek looking over at me with an upset look on his face. I look down and realize that my bikini top has somehow fallen off. Before Derek had gone to sleep, he had been putting sunscreen on me to prevent me from getting burnt. I must have turned over in my sleep and caused the top to fall off.

He tells me to put my top back on.

"Come on, Derek, there's so many other topless women on this beach. Who's going to care?" I say.

"I will if your picture ends up on the cover of a tabloid magazine. I don't even know what the hospital would say. Let's go. We're going back to the hotel."

I put my top on and then grab our things. When we get back into our room, I set our things on the floor. Derek comes up behind me and starts kissing my neck.

"Why do you like to defy me, Mrs. Shepherd?" he asks me as he undoes my bikini top.

"Because I can," I say.

"Tomorrow, I plan on gluing this top to you. But first, I have other plans."

He pushes me to the bed and gets on top of me. Derek then strips me of the bikini and leaves me naked under him. He takes off his swim trunks and hovers over me.

"You're gonna be screaming in a few minutes," he says, teasing my entrance with his cock. He pushes the tip in but then stops.

"Ahhh, Derek, please," I say. "I need you."

"Teasing you is way more fun," he continues, taking himself out and only putting the tip back in again.

"Please, Derek, please! Don't stop."

"Never, baby."

He then pushes all the way in and continues going slow. It's torturous but at the same time, full of pleasure.

"How much do you want me, Meredith?" he asks me, hitting my cervix.

"So much," I continue, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Tell me."

"I want you more than anything."

"And you have me."

He continues the slow pace and all I can do is moan.

"Tell me why you like to defy me," he growls in my ear. I get even more turned on.

"Derek, please…" I beg.

"Tell me," he growls again.

"Because I can. Because I love you!"

Derek suddenly pulls out, flips me onto my stomach, and then enters me from behind. He grabs my hips and pushes me back against him.

"Cum for me, wife," he says.

My orgasm makes me shatter around him, and I scream his name into the pillow.

He pulls out and then I turn onto my back and kiss him softly.

"I'm never going to get tired of this," Derek says to me.

"Neither am I."

His phone starts ringing and he picks it up.

"Hello?" he continues. "What? You're serious? Okay, I'm glad an investigation has been started. Meredith and I will be checking out tomorrow and we'll be on the first flight back to Seattle." He turns to me. "There was a fire at the hospital and it's a possibility that it was arson."

"Arson? You serious?" I ask him.

"Yes. We're going home tomorrow to be debriefed on the situation and everyone else has to be informed as well. Someone is threatening hospital employees and we have to put a stop to it."

* * *

After Derek and I return to Seattle the next day, I'm driving around town when he tells me to carefully step on the gas when we get on the freeway.

"Wait, why?" I ask.

"We're being followed," he replies. "We need to lose them, whoever they are. The car has fake license plates."

When I'm on the freeway, I hit the gas and Derek is on the phone with the police. The police tell us to go find a place to hide. I manage to lose the car and we pull off into a parking garage and hope that the other car did not follow us again.

Derek's friend in the police department says that they will continue chasing the car and let us know when they catch the person.

I have started to cry because I have become worried about dying, or having Derek die because of whoever was chasing us and most likely, the person who set the fire at Seattle Grace. I kiss Derek deeply, and he cups my face.

My hands reach for his belt and undo it. Derek smirks at me.

"We're in a parking lot, Mrs. Shepherd," he says, his voice low and suggestive.

"I know we are," I smirk back at him, climbing over the console to straddle his waist. I'm wearing a skirt, so it's easier for him to slide off my underwear.

"Make it quick, baby. We don't want to get caught."

He unzips his pants and in one move, buries himself inside me. He grips my hips and I move them back and forth to increase the pleasure.

"Let me hear you, Meredith," he continues. "Please."

He brushes his fingers against my clit and then rubs it, making me nearly scream.

"Please, husband, I need it," I say. He moves faster and I feel myself tighten up around him. "I'm gonna cum!"

"Cum for me, Mrs. Shepherd."

I gasp as the orgasm takes over me and I nearly hit my head on the ceiling of the car.

Derek tenses up and soon cums inside me.


	20. Chapter XX

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Come with me, Mrs. Shepherd," Derek says to me, taking my hand and leading me down to our other bedroom. "What do you want, Meredith?"

"I want you. I want you so much," I reply.

"And you'll always have me. I've been yours since the day you came into my office."

I stand in the middle of the room, while Derek walks up to me and unbuttons my blouse, sliding it off my shoulders.

"Drop your skirt," he orders me. I let it fall to the floor so that I'm standing in nothing but my bra and underwear. "Get on the bed and lie on your stomach."

When Derek gets dominating, it turns me so much, and it makes me want him even more. I obey his orders and wonder what is going to happen next.

He pushes my lace underwear aside and slides two fingers inside me.

"You are incredibly wet, Meredith," he says, moving them faster and curling them.

"Please, husband, don't stop!" I scream, gripping the bedsheets.

And he doesn't. Derek keeps going until I've came hard around him. I turn onto my back and allow him to slide my panties off. He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a small object and covers it in a liquid. I take a closer look at the object and realize that it's a butt plug.

"I've wanted to use one of these on you for a while now, baby," he continues. "I have lube here to make it easier for you." He squirts some onto his fingers and covers the plug again with some more of the lube. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I say.

Derek slides the plug gently inside my behind and at first, I don't feel anything. But then when he pushes the plug up towards my vagina, I suddenly feel pleasure.

He uses his other hand on my clit. He flicks it with his thumb and slides a finger inside me.

"DEREK!" I scream loudly. "Please, husband, it feels so good."

He pulls his hand away and leaves the plug inside me. He pulls down his sweatpants and then buries himself inside me. Derek goes slow, while also using the plug on me as well. At this moment, I can barely talk because I'm experiencing so much pleasure. He speeds up his thrusts, and I'm unable to say anything. All I can do is moan and scream.

"Oh baby, you feel amazing. You're so tight. It feels like the first time, every time," Derek says, moving the plug faster.

I tighten up around him, knowing I'm about to cum hard. The orgasm rips through me, and I scream my husband's name.

I'm left panting and feeling sated. Derek groans in pleasure as he cums inside me, then pulls out. He takes the plug and sets it on the nightstand.

"You have quite the sexual appetite, Mrs. Shepherd," he says.

"Well, that's because I have a sexy husband, Mr. Shepherd," I reply.

* * *

We're driving around Seattle a few days later. We stop in front of a two-story house that says 'sold' and I already love the exterior.

"I bought this place for us," Derek says. "I should have asked you first-"

I cut him off by kissing him. "I love it, husband." We walk up to the front door and this brunette woman comes out and smiles.

"Meredith, this is Rose," Derek says to me after taking my hand. "She's going to consult with us on our home. She's also a close friend of mine."

"I'm going to help you set up a fabulous place to live," Rose speaks up, placing her hand on Derek's shoulder.

"I'd like for Meredith to see the inside of the house," he continues, and I feel some jealousy starting to build up inside me.

_Hands off,_ I think to myself. _Derek is taken. He's mine._

My husband takes my hand again and leads me inside the empty house that he's bought for us. Rose leads us to the dining room where there are blueprints set out on the table. Derek and I look over them.

"I can help build a nice fireplace in the living room with beautiful stone," Rose says, placing her hand over Derek's. At that moment, my jealousy is burning very high, and I want to tell this woman that he is married. I'm wondering if she does notice his wedding band and is doing this to make me angry on purpose.

At that moment, Derek's phone buzzed, and he saw that he had a phone call from his boss. He excused himself to take the call. When Derek steps out of the room, I take the opportunity to have a word with Rose.

"Well, I could use granite for the kitchen countertops…" the brunette begins, but I clear my throat.

"Rose...it is Rose, correct?" I say, sitting on the table and putting my left hand on the blueprints, making sure my rings were visible. "I'm sure you are great at what you do. I don't think Derek would have asked for you if he thought otherwise. However, you need to stop trying to pursue my husband and touching him."

"Meredith, come on."

"Call me Mrs. Shepherd," I continue. "And this place is our future home. So you can either help out with the project by keeping your hands off of Derek or I will tell him what you're up to and have you removed from this project. Understood?"

"I assure you that it won't happen again," she replies before Derek comes back into the room.

"Everything all right, babe?" he asks.

"Yes, everything's fine," I say, sliding my hand into his back pocket and gently caressing his behind and then putting my hand on his shoulder to show Rose that I was serious about what I had said to her.

* * *

We head back to our place and end up cuddling on the couch.

"Did you ever do anything with Catherine besides the kinky stuff?" I ask my husband.

"No. She kissed me a few times, but I didn't like it and I never kissed her back," he says. He kisses me softly, in the way that always gets me horny. "What about you? Have you done something like this with other people?"

I did not want to have this discussion, but I decide to tell him.

"Yes, I have," I continue.

"Oh you have? Who do I have to go beat up?"

"I was sixteen and I made out with my science partner in the lab classroom before everyone else got there."

"This guy…" Derek says. He pushes me to the couch and gets on top of me. "Did he touch you like this?" He puts a hand on one of my breasts and squeezes. I start to whimper under his touch.

"No, never," I continue.

"Any other guys?"

"Yes, one. Briefly kissed a couple of times because he was my prom date. He wanted sex but I didn't." I can feel his fingers on my inner thighs and I moan softly. "Please…"

"What do you want, Meredith?" he asks, sliding two fingers in slowly, then curling them.

"I want you."

He curls and uncurls his fingers quickly inside me and I can already feel myself getting close.

"I love feeling you quiver and tighten around me," he growls in my ear. "Cum for me, wife."

"Derek, please!" I scream as I cum hard around his fingers and grip the couch cushion. I watch him undo his pants and take them off as he lifts my skirt up.

"Need to be inside you," he says.

"Always, babe."

"I love you, Mrs. Shepherd." He makes love to me until I cum hard around him, multiple times.


	21. Chapter XXI

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The next day, I head out to the grocery store and come back about 45 minutes later. After putting everything away, I decide to get changed out of my work clothes and into pajamas, but all of a sudden, a hand clamps over my mouth and the sight of a knife crosses my vision. I am scared.

"You are going to be a good girl and walk out of here with me," the voice says. I recognize it as Harper Avery. I swallow nervously, silently praying that I don't die.

We make it over to the door, but Derek's security detail is able to stop us and Mr. Avery gets arrested and taken away. Derek enters the apartment about five minutes later and he nearly starts crying when he sees me. He kisses me softly, then deepens it. After the police arrive and take statements from both of us, we are left alone in the apartment. Derek kisses me again.

"Oh Meredith…" he says, crying softly. "To think that I could have lost you today…"

"But you didn't," I reply. He kisses me again.

"Please, baby. Bedroom."

I follow him down there and he immediately pushes me onto the bed and gets on top of me. His mouth is on my neck and nips gently at the skin there. While I'm kissing him, I moan softly at the familiar feel of a vibrator on my stomach and then I feel it between my legs and I moan louder.

"I need you to cum, Meredith. I need it," Derek continues. He kisses me hard and gently shoves his tongue in my mouth as I kiss him back. He groans in pleasure when I grab ahold of his dick and start stroking. "Oh baby, that feels amazing. Don't stop."

The vibrator's speed increases and it doesn't take long before I cum hard, and then he turns up the vibrator again and I cum within a few seconds, screaming his name. We make love three times before we fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

The next evening, Derek and I head out to a bar with Izzie and Alex. Izzie is now a Karev, because she and Alex have gone to Vegas recently and eloped.

I head out of the dance floor and start dancing, enjoying the beat. I feel someone's hands on my waist and then get comfortable by leaning back against them.

Izzie has joined me out on the floor and gasps. I am beginning to wonder if she's gasping because I'm not the greatest dancer.

I look down and see that the person's hands are covered in tattoos. I immediately step away from the person and turn around to see a muscular man. I look around for Derek and see that he's not at the table where we will be eating food later.

"Hey, get off me!" I scream at the man. The music's loud, so I have to practically scream for someone to hear me.

"Have some fun with me," the man says, grabbing my waist. "It's perfectly innocent."

"I'm married, jerk," I continue. I slap him across the face to get him to let go of me. I hold up my hand so he can see my rings. "And you don't want to mess with me."

"Keep your hands off my wife," Derek says as he walks up next to me and pulls me close to him.

The man holds his hands up in surrender and walks away. My husband tells me to come with me and we head off to the bathroom. When we are alone, he kisses me and touches me all over. I moan softly.

"I love you," he continues. "I don't like it when other men touch you like that." His voice gets lower as he growls in my ear, "You are mine."

"I'm yours," I say.

* * *

When we arrive at home, I'm so horny that I immediately kiss my husband as soon as the front door is closed. He kisses me back and takes me to our bedroom and pushes me onto the bed. He kisses my neck slowly and sensually, making me weak under his touch. Derek slides his hand under my skirt and rubs me through my panties. He removes them and throws them to the side, then takes off his pants and buries himself inside me, nibbling on my ear as we make love.

Afterwards, Derek ties my ankles together and then slides two fingers inside me, curling them.

"Husband, please," I say. "Please, I want to cum."

"Not yet, baby," he replies. "I'm going to have to spank you if you do." I end up cumming all over his fingers when he curls them again. "You disobeyed me. Now I will have to punish you." He removes the ankle restraints and makes me get on my hands and knees. Then he brings his hand down on my behind.

"Ahhh, babe, please."

He spanks me again. "Now, Mrs. Shepherd, are you going to learn your lesson?"

"Yes, Mr. Shepherd. I will learn."

"Good girl. Come here, baby."

I turn onto my side and he wraps his arms around me.

* * *

Two weeks later, I'm at my office working when my phone rings. It's the OBGYN that I've been seeing since Derek and I got together, and she's calling me to remind me about scheduling an appointment since I've missed the last three.

"WHAT?!" I exclaim. I couldn't believe I've missed that many appointments. I remember getting a birth control shot shortly before I left for the honeymoon, but then we had been gone for a while. I really thought I had been back to see the OBGYN.

The doctor recommends that I take a pregnancy test since it's been a while since my last shot. I'm hoping that the test comes back negative.

Five minutes later, I'm in the doctor's office and she tells me that she has the results of the test.

"Well, Mrs. Shepherd, it looks like you are pregnant."


	22. Chapter XXII

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

It seems like the world has just collapsed around me.

I am pregnant. A life is growing inside me. A life that Derek and I have created.

I have no idea how he's going to react. Right now, I'm still freaking out.

"Are you alright, Mrs. Shepherd?" the doctor asks me.

"Not really. I'm not ready to have a baby yet. I want children, but the timing is bad," I say.

"Let's do a quick exam and see how far you are along."

I follow her to another room and she performs an ultrasound.

"There's your baby," she says, pointing to a small blob on the computer screen. "Looks like you're about a month along, so it's a little early to hear the heartbeat. Come back for another appointment in about a month and then we can try to determine a due date. Would you like a picture?"

"Yes."

The doctor prints out a picture of Blob and hands it to me. She also tells me that I need to take prenatal vitamins and extra Folic Acid. Lastly, I am given a pamphlet about all the things I can and can't eat and drink. Now, I need to tell Derek.

* * *

When I arrive home, I see Derek looking over some stuff for work. I'm very nervous about telling him because I have no idea how he will react.

I grab some fruit out of the fridge and start eating it. He comes over and gives me a soft kiss, then grabs some crackers from the pantry.

"You okay, Meredith?" he asks me.

"I'm pregnant," I say, then look down at the fruit.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant."

I look up at my husband and I can see he's angry.

"Did you forget your shot?" he continues.

I nod, not saying a word.

"Goodness, Meredith, you have one thing to remember and you forget? You are stupid for forgetting it!" Derek snarls at me.

"Don't yell at me!" I say.

"You think I am ready to be a father? No!"

"I'm not ready for a baby either!"

"You know what, I'm not dealing with this!"

Derek walks over to the door, grabs his suit jacket and keys, then leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I am left alone in the apartment, and that is when the tears fall.

* * *

A few hours later, I hear a knock on the door and my husband's voice is shouting for me. I open the door and am surprised to see Derek outside.

"Hey there, Mrs. Shepherd," he says. I smell the alcohol on his breath and nearly gag in my mouth. He's been drinking - a lot. "You look pretty."

"You are drunk, Derek. Let's get you to bed," I reply.

I lead him down to our room and have him sit up on the bed in case he starts feeling nauseous. Derek lifts up my shirt and starts talking to Blob.

"Hello in there," he says. Then he looks up at me. "You're gonna end up choosing him over me."

"No, Derek, I'm not choosing anyone over anyone. Plus, he could end up being a she."

"A girl? Crap!"

He ends up falling asleep right then and there and I put him onto his back and decide to let him sleep it off.

I hear his phone buzz - which is on the nightstand. I pick it up and gasp in horror at the sight of what I saw.,

_\- You will be a great father, Derek. Don't freak out. Meredith loves you, and you love her. Feel free to call me anytime. XOXO, Catherine_

I am now furious. He went to see her!

* * *

In the morning, I come downstairs to find Derek talking with his security detail.

"I'm leaving in 20 minutes," I say to them.

"Meredith, where have you been?" Derek asks me with anger in his tone. I can tell he's now sober. But I don't answer him. I walk towards the bathroom as he follows me. I lock the door behind me and he starts banging on it, hard. I step into the shower and let the water run over me.

Ten minutes later, I come out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me and Derek's still waiting outside the door.

"You're just going to ignore me now?" he continues. I just glare at my husband and head into the bedroom to find clothes to wear. I continue to ignore him, anger flowing through my veins. "Come on Meredith, don't do this."

"Why don't you go talk to Catherine instead? I'm sure she'd be interested," I reply.

"Meredith-"

"I'm not interested in talking to you. Should have thought that yesterday. I'm going to be late for work if you don't get out of my way. When something in your life gets bad, you end up going to her." I turn on the hairdryer after I finish getting dressed. When I'm done, he's trying to talk to me again.

"Where did you go?"

"That's none of your business. But at least I wasn't out at a bar and getting drunk with my ex-mistress. Did you sleep with her?"

"Of course not! Dear Lord. You're my wife. You think I'd go out and cheat on you?"

"Yes, you did. You went to that woman and talked to her about our private life! I saw that text."

"That is none of your business, Meredith!"

"Do you remember what you said last night? That I'd choose the baby over you? I thought about it, and if I have to, then I will choose this baby over you. That's what a parent does. So you can either stick with me or I will do it on my own. Your choice. And while you think about the mistakes you have done, I'm going to work. When I return home tonight, I'm moving my stuff to the guest bedroom and sleeping in there for the next while."

"Is this what you want?" Derek asks. He seems to have a couple of tears in his eyes.

"I have no idea what I want anymore," I continue. I grab a jacket from the closet and start to walk out of the bedroom. Derek follows behind me.

"Are you thinking about leaving?"

"When your husband wants to spend time with his ex-mistress over his own wife, it's a sign your marriage is over pretty much."

"You're my wife. Please."

"No, I'm the pregnant woman who you decided to abandon yesterday."

"I originally went to go and see my therapist, but he wasn't there, so I went with her. But I'm not going to see her again. She's out of my life for good. I went to her yesterday because I was angry at you, Meredith, for missing your shots."

"I'm mad at you, Derek! I'm mad that you took off when I needed you the most. I wish I could believe you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to work."

I grab my purse and leave the apartment, heading for the parking garage.

* * *

After I arrive at the hospital, I settle into my normal work routine. Two hours later, I'm in my office and reviewing over some files when my cell phone rings. I see that it's my mother-in-law, Carolyn, calling.

"Hi, Carolyn," I say.

"Well, Meredith, it's been a while," a familiar voice replies.

My whole body becomes paralyzed with fear. I could recognize that voice anywhere.

* * *

"Harper," I continue. "What do you want?"

"Carolyn and I have been having a very nice chat," I hear him say. "Thanks for screwing up my life, getting me fired. You and your husband will pay for what you've done. I know that he has money. You have two hours to get me half a million dollars. If you don't, your mother-in-law dies," he says.

"Please, I don't have that short amount of time to get that much money. I need more time."

"You have two hours. And don't tell anyone or she gets it. I will know."

* * *

The line goes dead and so many questions are running through my mind. I am feeling very stressed, but I cannot let Carolyn die. I know what I need to do.

I tell Cristina that I need to go home for the rest of the day since I am not feeling well. I have Alex drive me to the apartment.

When I step inside, I immediately grab a large bag as well as the checkbook that has Derek and I's names on it. I also grab a small handgun. I change out of my work clothes and into a hoodie and jeans. I check the gun to make sure it is loaded, then place it in the back of my jeans and make sure that it is covered by the hoodie.

I quickly head out the front door of the apartment and know that I only have a small head-start against the security detail. I throw my stuff in the car and make a dash for the bank.

* * *

When I arrive at the bank, I'm showing my ID, trying to do everything I can to get the money and get out of here. The bank manager has called Derek, and I'm beginning to panic. I can't let him know about his mother.

"Hello," I say, trying to remain calm and collected.

"Hello, Meredith," he replies. "Are you leaving me?"

I realize that I have to lie to him because I'm trying to avoid getting his mother killed.

"Yes, I am," I continue.

"Meredith, please…"

"Derek, don't. I'm sorry."

"Why the money?"

"I can't say."

"How about the baby?"

My hand instinctively goes over my belly. I think about Blob.

"Blob will be well taken care of," I continue.

"Is this what you really want?"

"It is, yes."

"Take the money, Meredith. Take it all. I'll always love you."

He then hangs up the phone and I'm left crying. I love him, even though we've been struggling lately.

The bank manager comes over and tells me that the money is ready. I gather all of it and shove it in the bag, along with my phone. Hopefully Derek can figure out that something is wrong. I pull out my phone again and Harper texts me the address and I have to get in my car and drive there. I place the phone back in the bag.

* * *

20 minutes later, I'm at the location and am shocked to see Carolyn tied up and gagged. I get out of the car and am stopped by Harper.

"30 minutes to spare," he says. "I'm impressed."

"Please, I have all the money. It's in the car. Please just let me have my mother-in-law," I beg.

"First things first." Harper backhands me hard across the face and it's enough that I fall to the ground. My head nearly hits the concrete. "That's for getting me removed from Seattle Grace!" He then kicks me in the ribs and I remember Blob. I curl into a ball to try and protect my belly and the baby. Harper is prepared to kick me in the ribs again when I reach behind me and pull out the gun, shooting him in the leg. He goes down and is screaming in pain. I feel myself getting closer to unconsciousness and hear sirens close by. Just before my vision goes black, I hear my husband's voice.

"MEREDITH!"


	23. Chapter XXIII & Epilogue

**AN: ****Please review :)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

"Please come back to me baby, I am so sorry…"

I become aware of Derek's voice as I come back to reality. I wonder how long I have been out for.

I groan as I turn my head to the side and see my husband sitting beside the bed. He's holding my hand and I can tell he's been crying.

"Oh Derek," he says. "I am so sorry, baby. I should have never reacted like that. I love you."

"I love you too," I say, my voice a little groggy because of the pain meds. "The baby?"

"Blob is fine."

"How did you know something was wrong?" I ask.

"I got word from my security detail that my mother was missing and I started to put the pieces together."

"Harper?"

"He's at a different hospital, but he's going to be in jail for the rest of his life."

"Your mom?"

"She's fine. Shaken up, but she's going to be okay. Oh Meredith, to think I could have lost you to that maniac…"

"Hey, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have never reacted that way. I was just worried about being a bad father. But I know that isn't true. I'm going to be a good father and I'm going to love this baby."

"I'm still mad at you."

"And you can be, as long as you need to. I was an idiot."

* * *

I spend a total of two weeks in the hospital, and while I recover, Derek hires a marriage counselor to come in and talk to us, both one-on-one and together. We continue the counseling at home for another two weeks and Derek and I feel stronger together as a couple.

But now, we are in our bedroom. We haven't had sex for a while - none during our counseling period - but we are both up to it now.

Derek kisses me softly and sets me down on the bed. He gets on top of me and kisses me again. I kiss him back and I feel my body react. He lifts my shirt off and then unclasps my bra.

"They're definitely a little bigger," he says, tweaking my nipples with his fingers and making me gasp.

"Please," I beg. "Don't tease me."

"Patience, baby. It's been a while." He takes off my underwear and then his. "I need to feel all of you, Meredith." He slides himself me slowly until he's all the way in. I throw my head back and moan loudly, putting my legs around his waist and wanting him even closer to me.

"Derek, please," I continue. "I need it."

"You have me, Mrs. Shepherd. All of me. I am yours."

I have missed this so much. My husband on top of me, inside me. No other feeling could ever compare to it.

We make love until we both cum, then cuddle until we fall asleep.

* * *

A few hours later, I awake from a peaceful nap and quickly sneak off to the playroom. It's been a while since we've been in here, and I'm feeling in the mood to be dominated. I pick up my phone and send a text to my husband.

_\- I await your pleasure, Mr. Shepherd. XOXO, Mrs. Shepherd_

There is a response a few seconds later.

_\- I'll be right there. XOXO_

I hear the door open within a couple of minutes and Derek enters in his pajamas. I'm on my knees, hands resting comfortably on them.

"So you want to play, Mrs. Shepherd?" he asks me, taking one of the riding crops and placing it under my chin. I look up at him.

"Yes, Sir," I say.

* * *

**EPILOGUE - TWO YEARS LATER**

"Have you had enough yet, baby?" Derek asks me.

"No. I could go a while more," I say.

He brings the flogger down on my behind and I cry out in pleasure. "What was that?"

"No, Sir."

He buries two fingers inside me. "Mrs. Shepherd, you are ready for me. Are you going to be a good girl?"

"Yes, Sir. I promise."

He curls his fingers against my sweet spot and I nearly cum right then and there. A second pregnancy has made me incredibly horny.

"Don't cum yet, baby. I want to drag it out as long as possible," he says.

"Please, Mr. Shepherd. I need it. I need to cum. Please let me cum."

"Get on your knees."

I do so and turn around to face my husband. He's wearing his official surgical jacket and I immediately feel myself get more wet. Recently, we have started incorporating his job into our sex life and it adds more spice.

"I think you need to put that mouth of yours to good use," he growls. "Suck it." I grab his dick and start sucking, feeling him tense up around me. "Good girl. Keep going. You need to make me cum."

I start licking his dick in the special way that gets him weak almost instantly. He groans in pleasure, tugging on my hair. I continue with this for several minutes.

"Please, Sir, will you cum in my mouth?" I ask.

"No," he replies. "I will cum in you, though."

He pushes me down onto the edge of the bed, being careful because of my huge belly. Then he buries himself inside me.

"Oh yes, Sir, please," I say, pushing back against him.

"Take it. Take it all, baby. Cum for me, Mrs. Shepherd." I cum hard around him and feel him tense up inside me. "I'm gonna cum." Then he empties himself inside me.

I turn around after he pulls out and kiss him softly. He puts a hand on my belly and then kisses it. "How is Ellis?"

"She's quiet. I think she went to sleep," I reply. I get changed into my regular clothes and head off to find my son, Derek Bailey. He has just turned two recently, and he looks a lot like me. I'm hoping that Ellis will look somewhat like Derek.

I find Derek Bailey playing with one of his blocks and I pick him up and hold him close. Derek comes into the room a few minutes later and gives him a kiss on the forehead, then kisses me on the lips.

"I love you and our family, Mrs. Shepherd," he says.

"I love you and our family too, Mr. Shepherd."

* * *

**AN: And that, my readers, is the end of Meredith and Derek's story. Thanks for following me throughout the story.**

**Be sure to check out my new story, Bared to Shepherd, and drop a review, fav, or follow.**

**Until next time, readers.**


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